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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


For those who don't know... I have been with my boyfriend for two years now. There is no question that I love him. I have been here for him through everything! There were times that I stayed when I should have left. He has come such a long way. I am really proud of him but I dont really see us going to the next level. He is not there... not yet anyways. I just dont really know where this is going. It's almost gotten comfortable if that makes any sense.

I love cooking for him. I love doing nice things for him. I love it when we go out on dates and spend time together but at the same time I feel like there is something missing. I just feel really confused.

I am also getting frustrated about his financial situation. We are both young and as I have addressed in the past, Im about to start college. We are both on our own with no financial support from anybody. I feel like Im the guy and he is the girl! I help pay for his bills and I pay all of mine. That is irritating to me. I dont remember when he has taken me out and actually paid for it (i just got my taxes done so... it doesnt make sense for me not to pay when he doesnt need to!) How do I say this? I am independent and I love doing things on my own - having said that, I still want him to be a guy and pay for stuff! My mom and dad both had jobs but he would treat her to the spa, get her nails done, hair done etc. i understand that my father was/ IS in a different financial point from us... but still! I added all his bills and it doesnt make any sense that I still have to help! With what he makes and how much he pays - he has enough left to pay my side of the rent, my car payment and take me out to eat! I feel like since I have always volunteered to help, he has gotten used to it.

I am wanting to go back to school - therefore it is my goal to get my car paid off. So i was thinking of getting a part time job - having said that - he doesnt want me to and shoots down all my ideas! I got so irritated I snapped at him and told him that the day he starts helping pay my bills is the day he can have a say so about me having a part time job!

When we first started dating, the main problem was how controlling and insecure he was. He still has some issues from time to time but its very manageable. who doesnt? Everybody does have some level of insecurity. Now, the problem is... im having a hard time explaining this. I am the guy! I want to be put on a pedestal - WHY AM I PAYING HIS BILLS????? WHY IS HE ALWAYS SHORT OF MONEY? WHEN HE NEEDS MONEY - HE NEVER PAYS ME BACK - I DONT FEEL LIKE I NEED TO ASK! I personally think its common sense to pay me back if not pay one of my bills to compensate for it. But when I owe him money, i have to give it back or pay for his bills to make up for it.

we do love each other but i also believe that we have both gotten comfortable. comfortable that we have a nice place to live because we both can afford it. comfortable with what we both offer to each other. am i just confused. a part of me feels like I need to live on my own and figure ths whole thng out. to break the lease, I have to pay 2000! i dont really know what the problem is... i just feel really irritated right now.

There is just so many ways to look at our situation. He has a child, an unstable ex, dangling in the wind and it just out there. I dont have any of that - In fact Im pretty set on what i want to do. does this mean because we are different - I should move on?





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