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Hitting a slump.
Mar 6, 2008
I am 23 and my gf is 20 years old. We have known eachother for about 5 years now. We never dated before just random hookups about once a year. I didn't really know it at the time but she really wanted to be with me. About 5 months ago I moved closer to where she lives. We started dating this time and by default, starting living together. ( I moved to a new area for school with no one around that I knew and she lived with her brother and his wife and two kids, financially it was sort of the best choice.) Because of how she felt about me and how much I had hurt her, I treat her like a princess to make up for it.

Things were going great for a while until about three weeks ago. She dated a guy for a few years who was very mean to her. He was verbally abusive, once physically, and just generally a bad guy. Three weeks ago she stopped by one of their mutual friends house and as she was leaving so did he. He confessed his "love" for her and how he wanted to marry her. She immediately told me about it and I was pretty mad. When she got home we got in a huge argument about it and she told me she was depressed and unhappy. (she used to take anti-depressants) We were on the edge of breaking up. We talked for about two hours and everything got a little better. Two days later I was still rather upset about it and pretty mad that she was talking to him about this stuff. She told me they have not talked sense, I believe her.

I sort of felt like I was cheated on mentally. Sometimes I feel like she still wants to be with him but she insists she is crazy about me. She assured me that she is 100% commited to me. We are now looking for a new place by everyonce in a while she talks about not living together. The problem is she would move back with her brother. I don't like this idea because of the fact that she has dated two of his best friends who are always over there. Mind you one is the abusive guy and the other is somone who just called her two days ago trying to hang out with her. (Yes, she told me about that too.) She is very honest with me but I still have a hard time trusting her since the last incident. This is basically the build up, here is the problem.

When we first started dating we had sex everyday for about 3 months. She was originally on the birth control shot but got off of it. Right at that time our sex slowed down and she started to get moody. That is what spurred the ex-bf thing. She has just started back on birth control and is taking the pill. She is also on a new anti-depressant which can effect the labido. We barely have sex but once or twice a week now. It is really killing my self confidence and makes me feel like she doesn't want me. Also, my confidence in the relationship is starting to drop. It seems different from day to day. What do I need to do. I do everything for her I can, I buy her flowers, cook her dinner, buy her presents, clean the house, I try everything with little success. HELP, i need someone to talk to, I don't have anyone who can help.

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