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My boyfriend who i am completely, head over heels in love with cheated on me. He was drunk, high, and on pills, but i'm not sure if thats a good enough excuse. He had sex with his ex girlfriend, who I know he has no feelings for and has been over for a long time, but i still can't even explain how upset i am. he was crying for a very long time after he told me and apologized much, said he loved me more than anything (which i'm sure he does--he's not close to his family) and said he would do anything to get me back. i told him that it would take a very long time, and if he busted his butt and worked really hard to earn back part of my trust, and proved to me that i am the only woman he wants and he would never hurt me like this again....i would consider taking him back (but it would take alot of work on his part).
is this an okay approach?
i can't imagine my life without him...
please help my poor twisted heart.
:(
I have to agree that the drugs and the alcohol are just an excuse for his bad behavior, and one that is used far too much by people who do make bad decisions. He chose to drink, do drugs, pop pills, and sleep with his ex. Like CyberNick said, if he loved you more than anything he NEVER would have put himself in that position.

Personally, I think it's a bad idea to let him back in. He messed up and he has yet to take ownership of that. He is blaming a substance instead of himself. You deserve far better than this. Love isn't always enough to make a relationship last. There has to be trust and honesty, neither of which you have with him right now. You are never going to be able to trust him again (even though I'm sure you will try) and he isn't being honest with you or himself. So what's left?
Coming from a guy here, we're all somewhat of pigs in our own right. We like women and separate fantasies and sex from actual love. With that being said, Ive never cheated on a girl. If you love a woman you need to respect them and know your actions can hurt them, and in turn potentially cost you your relationship. I used to smoke a lot of weed and I drink a lot from time to time, and no matter how under the influence I am, Im still aware if I have a girlfriend, and I would certainly realize that I was about take my pants off and have sex...thats just me. Sorry to be a downer but thats sort of a lame excuse. At least he had the decency to tell you though, and not make you look more stupid in the long run.





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