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Hi Starissa:*I wouldn't tell you this story, if you hadn't mentioned in your post that he told you he was confused and just didn't know right now. To me, that sounds like he hasn't totally written off the idea of the two of you being together down the road. If I'm reading that wrong, then never mind what I've written.

I know pretty well what you're going through.** My husband and I have known each other since we were in grade school.* He was my brother's best friend (still is).* As life went on, and we grew up, we were always kind of attracted to each other, but never acted on it.* We dated other people and always hung out together within our circle of friends.

He was engaged at 19 to another girl and she ended up, not only cheating on him, but getting pregnant with another guys child (also one of his "friends"). It really did a number on him. We kind of got closer after that, I guess because he felt more comfortable talking to me about it than his guy friends.Well, the friendship slowly turned into a relationship, and we ended up living together.* I knew he was the one and I know now, that he knew I was too, but back then it was a struggle. I know he had some pretty deep scars from the old relationship and he just had a hard time getting past it. It didn't make it real easy on me, either.* But I knew I had to give him the space and time to heal and learn to trust, not so much me, but his own instincts.* It took a couple of years, before he was ready to make a commitment, but he did, and we've been married now for almost 20 years.

I don't want to give you false hope, because every situation is different. And I'm certainly not going to tell you it was an easy thing for me to do. I cried (by myself) a lot and I know he knew it was hard for me. He was as supportive as he could be, while he was trying to figure things out for himself.

I guess, what I'm saying is, if you really love him, and you feel like you can be OK waiting, even though you don't know where this will end up, then give him his space and let him figure out what is right for him. Be there for him, but don't push. It's totally up to you. Only you can decide what you can handle, emotionally. And don't ever let him take advantage of your patience. You have to take care of yourself first.

I did have a conversation with him back then, about what he felt our chances were. I asked him to be totally honest with me, at least as much as he could be, given his fears. He actually said to me, "If you can stand it, don't give up on me totally". So, I stuck it out. And this story had a happy ending. This is just my experience and I want to reiterate that I'm not saying this will work out for you the way it did for me. I just think it warrants some thought, and it never hurts to hear someone else's story.

I wish you the very best of luck and remember, do what is right for YOU. Whatever you decide and whatever comes of it, I know you will be fine, if you follow your "gut" and your heart. His indecision is about HIM, not you. Take care of yourself. cmpgirl
i still have a hell of a time talking to hiM but have been in contact with him still. We email and i pour my heart and soul out and hes great. Were gonna stay friends like always and if he realizes he wants to be with me then we will. We have plans for sat so some dinner and then im off to vegas. SOmetimes i think he will realize while im gone but im not gonna stop my life and cry for ever but im not going to go out and look for someone. Thanks for all the advice i think and hope i still have a chance. he was the best person i have ever dated and i have dated alot of losers.





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