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Thank you ALL so much for your wonderful and thoughtful replies :)

Yes I do know the "I cant take my eyes off you" phase does not last forever and then you have to deal with the real work of being in a relationship....the strange thing is after losing the man that I loved (for 20 years might I add!) I really thought I could never experience that kind of fairytale feeling with another person after him, but I was wrong and it surprised the hell out of me.

With all my other flash in the pan relationships it was hot and heavy in the beginning but not so with this man. It was so much more of an emotional connection ...a tender beautiful thing. Like the way it felt just to be near him, hold his hand or hear him sing (something we both love to do). It astounded me that I could almost be happy again...almost be in love...it felt so wonderful.

And yes...we did seem to have much in common....

Larrylou's mom said:

"What kind of books has he read lately? What's his favorite movie, his favorite kind of movie, his favorite music groups, sports teams, does he hike, bike, love or hate the theatre, what are his hobbies, his favorite way to spend a rainy afternoon, his political or religious affiliations, life philosophies, world view, opinions on child rearing, etc.? Is he on the same page with you on any of this? And how does he treat you, speak to you, is he respectful, is he a man of his word, does he do what he says he will when he says he will? In short, is he a good friend? What do you really KNOW about him, and do you LIKE what you know? "

[B]Yes yes!!![/B] I loved the person I was getting to know....like I said, it wasnt about lust, but more about all the little things he slowly revealed about himself made me feel more and more that there was something unique between us....our likes, dreams, desires, the way we approach life and love and lots of other little things that have propelled this whole thing from the start. We both love to sing and I met him in a karaoke bar, he was a friend of a friend, and the moment we sang to each other that was it....

That being said, I have been very honest with him about my feelings, but there came that moment when we truly both felt so "in love" there is no other way to describe it. He said it first and while I was hesitant because I knew I didnt want to get ahead of myself that soon....I mean love takes years to really know if its real or not, but it just felt so right to say....I said I love you too.....then suddenly over the last few days, when things started to fade a bit for me...we were together and I dont know what happened to me. I just felt deflated, or like my bubble of happiness suddenly burst in mid air and I dont know why.

I am not the kind of woman who goes relationship hopping to feel the initial high and moves on after it ends. Oh god, Im the kind of girl who stays on long after the love fades, because I always had a problem letting go. But Im different now, I felt ready for a real relationship and that is what I was hoping this could be, so I dont know why I am suddenly feeling this way.

I have yearned for a long term love affair that grows deeper and more real as time goes by. I have been through so many failed attempts and then lost who I truly believed to be my soulmate last summer. We had known eachother 20 years...from high school and after all that time I believed he was still the "One"...I loved him, but he never loved me...not really. When it finally ended last July, I told myself I was going to be one of those old ladies who dies alone with no one but her cat to even notice. I became quite the happy single girl, not needing love, affection, attention from men, or even sex, nothing...I blocked it all out and spent time getting to know and love myself. Then....just when I thought I was doing OK, this man walks into my life so unexpectedly and it hasnt been the same since. My emotions and hormones and everything else inside me has been all over the map. I just dont know what it is Im feeling anymore. Its not a rebound thing...I was not rebounding as I dealt with my broken relationship a long time ago. I certainly wasnt looking for a nw one....didnt need it or want it, but BANG....it happened. We just looked at one another from across a crowded room and there is was....for the both of us. We couldnt both be dreaming.

The thing is, he is so much older than me...I am very pretty and look much younger than my 35 years.....and he, well, to me I see whats beautiful about him, but he's not what you would call an attractive man. And as much as I still feel this desire to get to know him, and still do love being physically close to him.....I'm just scared Im only fooling myself, that because of our age difference and with time I might want something different, or not at all. And as soon as I lost that high in love feeling about him, it all started to hit me. I am not sure what to do.

I suppose just take things one day at a time....I thank you all so much for your responses and your kind replies....sometimes we just need to reach out to others so we know that we are not alone. It has been a crazy time for me the past few months....so many ups and downs. I dont have any regrets...just not sure anymore what is real, or how to move forward.

Thank you again....for sharing and listening.....

Jarlena





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