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We did see a counselor a time or two. It obviously didn't help. There's no talking to someone when they are not open to it. He has clearly stated that when it comes to his son or the sons mother that he will do things "his" way regardless of what I think or say. We've even been separated before for a month or so. Like the fool I am I came back because I once again believed the lies of his wanting to make the marriage work. I had to quit my job last Sept. because of a disability and I wont be able to work again until I can have a much needed knee-replacement. To enable me to be on my feet for longer periods of time. I'm sure even then I wont be making as much money as I use too and it worries me a lot. I feel (am) stuck where I'm at for the time being.
I look back at the period of time after we were married when my two kids were still living home. My husband had no reservations about voicing his dislikes for certain things my kids were doing. And it did kind of hurt my feelings but he was right in what he was saying and I did address the problems with my kids. I could have chosen to have the "attitude" , like he does me when it's his son, but I felt like it was my responsibity to treat him with respect, as it was his home also. I could have made things worse by taking that disrespectful route but I didn't. If he was right, he was right.
I am not a mean person and believe me I know what a touchy situation it is
talk about step-kid(s). Kids will be kids regardless.
But regardless of whether it is a step-child or a biological child, there must be a bond between the spouses also, a willingness (out of respect for each other) to communicate about what is and isn't acceptable in the household, concerning the kid(s).
A step-parent (like me) should and has the right to play a role with importance and meaning. I should not be dismissed just because I express my opinions and concerns. Even when they might be disapproving.
I tend to think that when priority is given to the marriage (Husband/Wife) and that relationship is healthy and good then it will have the trickle-down effect, making the other things good.
And yes, the writing was on the wall as far as this marriage goes from day one. I know I was a fool to think anything would change. Thanks for all the responses. maggie08

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