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Relationship Health Message Board


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Thanks for the replies! Littletree, I'm sorry that your wife cheated on you. Unfortunately I can't help much since I'm the one that cheated.

Happymom, I am leaning toward seperation more and more, but at the same time I would like to stay together for the sake of the kids. My husband wants to stay together because it is the right thing to do, but he has no trust in me which is making matters worse for both of us. I'm very unhappy with him. I have talked with him a hundred times about him working night and how I feel so alone, etc...but again he refuses to change his shift for the following reasons: He is a truck driver and drives 4 hours one way to drop off freight and drives 4 hours back which is pretty easy. Well if he went back to the day shift he would have to work in the city doing deliveries all day and he hates driving in the city and it is pretty hot here during the day in Fla. Plus he would be losing 30% of his pay. So I can understand why he would not want to work during the day, but again him working nights isn't good for me. I didn't get married to sleep alone. We have been married for 8 years and he started working nights close to 6 years ago. I begged him not to do it, but he insisted, so I had to deal with it...but over the past 3 years it has really taken it's toll on our family. He barely gets to see us during the day since I work days. I swear I feel like a single mother and it hurts to be lonely while married which is no excuse for me to have had the affair which by the way I didn't look for, it sort of just happened and my ex lover who lives out of state was able to give me the attention I longed for sad to say...but again that affair is over with.

So yes I would love to keep my family together, but those issues that exist in the first place are still there. My husband also has gained 60lbs over the past few years and his gut is horrendous. I have told him all of this time and time again, but he has done nothing about it yet he wants to stay with me because I am a good woman and wife and he knows that and yes he loves me dearly, but not enough to change his job shift or to lose weight, etc.

I'm not looking for excuses to leave because I feel that if I leave, I will have more guilt to face later. I just want to be happy and I'm not happy with him right now and if I leave, I will be making matters worse for him after the affair. I somehow wish he would just tell me to leave..it would be so much easier...I think....especially since he is not willing to change.





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