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(Sorry this is a bit long!!)

I just want to get everyone’s opinion about the issue I am having.

So my boyfriend and I, our relationship is pretty new, but is very strong. We have pretty strong feelings for each other, its just I feel a bit off only about one thing.

He has a best friend that is a girl. But not only is this best friend a girl, it is also his ex (and he also mentioned that this was the longest relationship he was ever in-2yrs). He told me that they dated back in 01-03 and how they stayed friends because they had many of the same interests outside of being in a romantic relationship and decided to keep things platonic between them.
They both live in different states (east coast & west cost) and I know they talk to each other on a regular basis. He even has her as his #1 on my space (next to his bro and then myself). Now I am a grown mature person and not jealous in nature. I figure being an adult and what not means being secure in the fact that there is such things as having the opposite sex as friends is NORMAL!..lol. She is in a relationship with someone 20+ yrs her senior and he is with me so I figure nothing of it right?
So this is where things sound off as of late:

She invited him to her graduation in May. He brought it up to me and how he was going to be staying at her place, mind you this girl is living with this older guy in a 2bedroom place. I brought up the fact how I thought wouldn’t it would be fun if I came up there with him. I could meet his bff and other friends and where he comes from, ect. He told me that was a fun idea & how he would love it and asked his bff the next day.

He called me that morning telling me she was fine with it and that I could stay there, but that she was concerned if I would be able to get on the same plane or even seated next to him. So I did my research and found a cheap ticket and seats on both flights right next to him! I called him later in the day to let him know the good news that it wasn’t too late to get a ticket and he told me he would let his friend know and then call me back.
He gave me a ring back within 5 minutes and told me that she said that it was cool, but now (suddenly) she didn’t think she had a graduation ticket for me to attend her ceremony! I told him that I didn’t mind if I didn’t go to the graduation because I could find something else to do and besides that, the party that follows is probably more fun than the grad anyways. He told me that he would call her later to talk to her about what I said.
I thought it to be very strange how within a few hours her mood changed from inviting me to all of a sudden not having a ticket for me! Wouldn’t that had been brought up earlier when he first called her to invite me to go?!?! My boyfriend told me that perhaps it didn’t cross her mind when he 1st brought it up and maybe she had just realized that? And yes maybe that is the case!
I decided to email her via my space to tell her about how I didn’t mind not going to the grad and how I am looking forward to meeting her, ect, ect…I also added her as a friend seeing as her space was marked private anyways.
Well she never responded to my letter and didn’t add me to her space either btw.
So I chatted again with my BF and told him I emailed her and how I truly didn’t mind and he asked me if I was sure about not going and that wouldn’t it be weird sitting around her house while everyone was going to the grad. I told him (again) I didn’t mind and it would just be fun to go!
So yesterday he calls me and now tells me that his bff doesn’t think I should come because her spare bedroom is full of storage stuff and her cat litter box is in there and doesn’t think she would be that accommodating to the both of us in that room. This is where I started to feel an odd feeling!!
I now felt that she must not want me to be there at all! That to me sounded like a lame excuse! I was now feeling pretty annoyed. I told my bf why doesn’t she just come out and say that she doesn’t want me there?!?! He told me that wasn’t the case, but at the same time he told me that he doesn’t know what is going on in her mind. I told him well I am not dumb and this is obviously the case! He kept insisting it wasn’t! So that conversation was pretty much unresolved and awkward between us!!
I hung up with him and then thought about well maybe if we stayed at a hotel then we wouldn’t have this problem (I txt him to ask). He called me later and just said that she wanted him to stay there. It was very late when we had that convo (like 1230am) and by this point I was pretty much annoyed and done trying. It sounded like he was also probably not wanting to make anymore calls to his friend and changing plans and sounded like he was done trying to have me go out there.

I wonder if she just didn’t want me out there because it would be too awkward? Being as I am his gf staying at his ex gf/bff place. But at the same time wouldnt my bf feel awkward that he is staying at a place where his bff and her guy are living? I wonder if she just would feel threatened/odd if I came out.

I don’t want to say it, but a part of me wonders if there is still something between them? If she doesn’t want me out there ‘getting in the way’. My bf can be pretty gullible at times and I wonder if she is trying to take advantage of a situation? He is going off of every word she tells him and doesn’t even think its because she may be weirded out about me! He keeps insisting that’s not why she is acting the way she is!! Its just that little piece of me that wonders, and I don’t want to get paranoid thinking that it might be that way.

He called me this am and told me he talked to her again and said that his bff ‘hopes that I am not upset at her’. I told him that Im over it and that I am only upset because I had already requested time off work and basically felt she was being a bit strange is all.

He also mentions how she wanted to come out here with her guy and he said ‘she would want to meet you then so that cant be why she is acting like that’.

What would you think in this situation? I am in a weird spot right now… =-/





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