It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I was in a similar situation with my boyfriend. He is still friends with a couple of his ex's and good friends with one particular ex. My rationality and insecurities were at war!! lol I am friends with a few of my ex's so I "knew" that it shouldn't be an issue.. why was it ok for me, and not for him!? But my insecure side saw this one girl as a threat... they share more in common, I felt she looked better than me, I dubbed her his "what if" girl.

The difference with my situation and yours is that my boyfriend doesn't compare our relationships or remind me of how much he liked/loved her. (Maybe its because it never went that deep for him, I dont know.) I learned not to ask question I really don't want answers to. Your boyfriend is probably just trying to be honest with you, not realizing exactly what he's saying how it comes across.

You've only been together for 2 months. That's not very long.. and it's normal to have insecurities in those beginning months. You're still in the learning stages of your relationship. It is probably true that he was head over heels for this girl... but it's also true that they both realized that they just made better friends. My boyfriend and i have now been together a little over 2 yrs and I'm so thankful that I didn't let my insecurities and imagination get the best of me. I see now that him and his "What if" girl really are just not compatible.. much much better off as friends... just like me and one of my ex's.

It was about 6 months or so into our relationship where I was able to let go of a lot of those insecurities.

Tell him that you've already heard the stories and that you're glad he's been honest with you, but that he doesn't need to talk about it over and over. If he can drop the constant reminders then you can more easily work on getting passed it.
[QUOTE=completeopposit;3515130]For those who have had success in dealing with exes in your significant others lives, what are the circumstances of that? How good of friends are they? How long have they known each other? Were they friends before being lovers? how long until you were comfortable with the situation? Your help is most appreciated.[/QUOTE]

Like I said in a previous post, my husband and his ex have been good friends for a long time. She had just moved from the midwest when they met. They hit it off as friends very well. My husband set her up with a friend of his and vice versa. Things didn't work out with those relationships, but there was no weirdness. They found themselves single and figured, "if we get along so well why not give it try?". This was a few years into their friendship. They never faught or anything, they just both felt like it was dating a brother or sister. So they went back to the way things were. She ended up moving back to the midwest right before I met my husband. He told me all about her as we were talking and getting to know eachother. When I met her (and her fiance which my husband never mentioned) I was put at ease. She was so nice and sweet and seemed genuinely happy for him. The other friend that came to dinner that night was the friend of her's that she set my husband up with and her husband. They were all just nice people and there was nothing to be insecure with. She now lives about 2 hours away from us. We all get together about once a month and spend the night at eachother's home. She is my youngest daughter's Godmother. My kids call her "auntie". I think of her as my husband's sister because that's how he views her. I don't see anything wrong with that.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:08 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!