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[QUOTE=shorti;3514178]i think you kind of contradicted yourself in this statement. you said that you think its immature to stay friends with exes in the first place, then you go on to say that for him to be friends with an ex is not an issue. sorry but that sounds like a contradiction to me and it seems like you are bothered by him being friends with an ex period. i understand he said he loved her and all this and i too would not be comfortable with that situation. i also wouldnt be comfortable with him telling her about all our problems.

but sorry, i have to disagree with you that its immature to stay friends with an ex. my boyfriend is friends with an ex. im yet to meet her but this only because they never see each other so there hasnt been an opportunity although this sunday i will be meeting her. she is in a very serious relationship herself, moved in with the guy and is pretty much engaged. her boyfriend, and myself have no problem with them being on speaking terms. they are both in their early thirties, they are adults and this is an adult friendship. now, my ex is my boyfriends best friend. they have been friends for 20 years. i met his best friend, we dated for 6 months, that didnt work out and we continued to remain friends. then all of a sudden i started hanging out with his best friend and one year later we started dating. i lost my virginity to my boyfriends best friend. he doesnt seem worried at all. im not holding onto the past by being in contact with my ex. the only reason im in contact with him anyway is because im in a relationship with his best friend. im sure over time, the friendship would of naturally dropped off to a hello once in a blue moon. besides this ex of mine is now really interested in this other girl. she likes him too and i hope they get together because you know what, id be really happy for him. so us exes are not holding onto the past, nor do we have secret agendas.[/QUOTE]


There is no contradiction in my belief that exes as friends are holding on and that I'm ok with his friendships in general. I do think it's immature and it's certainly not for me but I don't care if other people do it, even people I'm seeing. I have no desire to force my beliefs on anyone else. If I did, I would tell him to get rid of her point blank. It sounds to me like you are trying to justify your own situation by criticizing mine. I'm comfortable with myself inside and out and don't harbor insecurities about opposite sex friends, exes as friends, what have you. You are responding to my thread but going on about your own situation. If you're ok with that set up, great. Respect the fact that I'm not. I would never date within a friendship circle in the first place and I don't believe for one second that you don't have a secret agenda or aren't holding on. If that were true, why would you be so upset about my point of view? If you don't have anything constructive to say or a point of view to relay, please stay off my thread. I'm looking for advice, not blatant criticism.





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