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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]I've been going with my b/f for three years now. I'm not a 'spring chicken', but am a very young 64. My guy is also a young 78 (sounds old huh?), but he's NOT a good communicator. He's not the 'deer in the headlights' type, but more of an avoider with his head in the sand......hoping it will just go away or I'll forget about whatever the problem was. It just drives me nuts sometimes. He's a very good 'double talker' as I call it. He can talk in circles until you don't even know what you said in the first place. We've had a very close, intimate relationship and have had some very good, sweet, close and wonderful times together. I've laughed with him more than anyone at any time.....he's my ex-brother-in-law. I was married to his brother for 26 years.....since I was 14, so I've known him for years.

But, I'm getting SO fed up with his lack of communication that I'm about ready to call it quits. I've broken it off several times over the past 3 years and he broke it off once. He later said he didn't know why he did it and wanted us to get back together. But, on top of not communicating well, he is what I call a 'yes man'. He will agree with ANYTHING I say.....then I can find out later he din't want that at all. I've tried to ask him to just TELL me what he REALLY thinks.....give me his opinion....and so on. It doesn't work.....he just agrees.

Do a lot of men do this? This drives me nuts too because I have NO way of reading his mind. It sort of came to a head for me the other day when we decided we need to not eat out as much because of the price of things going up so much. So, as I have before, I was going to make us dinner at his house. We went to the grocery store together, I got all the ingredients I had on my list to make a very nice, simple dinner. He just went along, said nothing, we had a good time.......and so on.

Then he began acting sort of 'strange' when we got back home and I was fixing dinner. I asked him "are you tired?" "No" he says. To make this story shorter, he did NOT WANT the dinner......he just wanted a simple sandwich or soup and sandwich. AARRGGHHH!!! Now WHY couldn't he have TOLD me that before we went to the store, I cooked, and went through all that??? I lost my cool.....no yelling.....just go so frustrated that I didn't even take any of the food home with me, mailed the 1/2 of it he gave me back to him with no note.....just mailed it back. I'm beginning to think I need to do something, go someplace.........something to expand my social network. I've given almost ALL my time to him these last 3 years. I've neglected friends, family, grandkids, any kind of other social life.....but that's MY fault, not his. I shouldn't have done that......but he always had things for us to do and places for us to go. Plus we workout together 3 times a week at the gym.....so we always had things to do.

This is going to be VERY, VERY hard because he's almost ALL I've done for THREE years. I guess I'm 'afraid' .....afraid I'll never love again, never meet anyone without comparing them to him, not have anyone to go places with, be lonely (I live alone), not know how to make new friends........all sorts of things. Plus, even though we have broken up several times over these 3 years, we've both admitted that we seem to be drawn back to each other like magnets.....we just can't seem to stay away from each other. Then all kinds of bad thoughts come to my mind....like he'll find someone else, he won't miss me at all, he'll just go on with his life...and so on.

Is this normal (whatever normal really is)? Have all of you who have gone through a breakup thought the same things and felt the same way? I miss him very much already but, if I don't make some kind of change in my life, things are going to keep being the same. I can't change him, but I can change me....and that's what I think I need to do. It's going to be VERY, VERY hard and I fear it's going to hurt for a very long time.

Sorry this is so long....but it helps to write it down. I really DO love him VERY much......but I'm beginning to think maybe I'm just ADDICTED to him. I don't know what to do with myself. Yesterday was a VERY beautiful Sunday (almost 70 degrees outside) and here I sat on the computer. We would have went to the park, a drive down the river road......been together. Today is beautiful too, but I just don't want to do anything.


I feel lost, but still feel I need to make this decision or NOTHING is going to change in my life. While I do love him, I also feel sort of 'bored' and empty. Thanks for any advice or sharing you could give. :) [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]





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