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Wow, I really didn't expect to get this many replies. Every one of them made a good point to me.

Larrylou'smom,
He is already starting to see the toll his work is taking on our younger daughter. She was always a "daddy's girl" and if he was around I was invisible. Well, since our move she has come to me. In the mornings she will try to jump out of arms into mine while I'm making breakfast. When she wants more milk she will come to me. It may seem like a little thing, but I think it's only the beginning. I think you are absolutely right about waiting until the 20th. I have to give him a chance to keep this one more promise. I have to have that faith him. I guess we'll see.

leelee,
Yes, he broke a promise and I do deserve to be upset. I use to just blow off my feelings and make excuses but I won't anymore. I'm allowing myself my feelings and I think that is helping. I'm not going to let things just blow over anymore.

redsoxgirl,
I should clarify that he wanted this move. It was not only for his career but for a better environment for the girls as well. We wanted away from the city so they had a yard to play in that wasn't dangerous. My daughters can ride their bikes now without me worrying about the crazy teenage neighbor driving 50mph down our residential road.
He does have huge control issues when it comes to work and he does know it. At least there is that. He does have interviews set up for an assistant for next week so that is a step in the right direction, I hope.

matter of time,
I've never tried that line but I definately plan on using it. I don't know how I never thought of it considering he has his bible references all the time. Maybe that will help drive the point home?

cmpgirl,
I totally agree with you that that was a HUGE cop-out on his part. I can't believe how much one statement like that hurt and still does. It's like everyone else's problems in the family (including his) are mine, but when it comes to me I have to deal with it alone. How is that fair to anyone? I do owe it to myself to feel better and I have been making phone calls to get that done.
I can't help but feel insulted though by how he thinks he needs to make all of this money. I'm not materialistic and I by no means want me girls to be. There are to many spoiled and "entitled" people in this world and I want my children growing up thinking that hard work pays off. But I feel like the message they get right now is hard work comes at the expense of your family.

Seraph,
I have said that to him more times than I can count. What really got me about what you said was your son and how much he is missing out on. My husband was so disgusted by how my daughter's father just walked away from her. What he isn't seeing is that he is doing the same thing in a sense. Yes, he lives here, he provides, but that "bond" is missing. I can't be both parents. It's not the same.

StenoLady,
I think your response helped me the most because you were in his shoes.
My husband has lost some weight (and he's not a big guy to begin with, tall and thin) and he is nervous about his health. He hasn't been eating like he should. He made a comment the other day about how if anything ever happened to him he is worried about how we would survive financially, that he is worried he needs more life insurance. I got so angry at that and said "Forget money for a minute. Did you think about how devistated your children would be growing up without you and how much I would miss you. If something ever happened to you money wouldn't be my main issue and you know it".
You're right though, he is putting a band-aid on the problem. Now that our insurance is straightened out he is scheduling a physical for himself. His weight loss has triggered him in realizing something isn't right. With any luck his doctor will put in perspective because my words just are not working.
And yes, his needs are not being met. He was restoring an engine to a car (his other passion) and he has no time to do it. He actually mentioned selling the car because of this and that really made me sad. This was his escape and outlet and I don't want him to lose that. His sleep is his only down time! :(

I thought I would let you all know what happened last night. I got a phone call at 9pm from him appologizing because he was finishing up with a customer and the he would be home soon. He was home within the hour and he said "are you still mad at me?". I told him I'm mad, I'm frustrated and I'm hurt. There's a huge diference between the two. That got a little conversation going with us. He has a promotion going on this weekend and I know he has to work it, but he assured me that this would get better. He also did appologize for being nasty and realized that what he said was just so wrong. He said that he talked to one of his friends at work who couldn't believe I didn't smack him for that comment because apparently that's what his wife would have done.

But I guess I do just have to wait and see if he keeps his word. There is not much else I can do at this point.





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