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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Yeah its the same relationship, and we've been together for almost 13 months now (I'm 19, shes 17). To those who remember the situation, you'd be surprised that all of those problems were fixed, she is not controlling anymore, she is constantly pressuring me to go out and do stuff with friends or for myself (but I always refuse. I feel guilty), every problem that we used to have that I posted to this forum was resolved.

The problem is that the relationship still isn't good, we go through times of good, but our relationship had one of the worst starts imaginable. And since my last post on this forum, it took its toll on me, and I feel horrible all the time. She had a very bad past involving drugs (which I am strongly against from an experience in my family) and having lots of sexual partners. She was raped when she was 13 by a stranger (while on drugs), and had to get an abortion, and after that she felt like she had to have sex with anyone who wanted to, or else they'd just take it. That is understandable, and I want to be there for her.

But even before we started dating, she'd flaunt about her past sexual experiences. Once we got closer, she'd do it even more. I heard tons of stories about things she did with other guys, things that guys did to her, things that she did to guys, and she seemed very proud of it. I now know that she did this because she liked me, and wanted to be with me, and the only kind of attention she ever received from other guys was sexual attention, so she felt that would be the way to get me.

These stories went on for a long time, and they finally took their toll on me. When she speaks, she can barely mention anything without me either getting furious on the inside, or just wanting to break down and cry. We argue a lot, and its usually over something that I start, because she'll be talking, and she'll say something that pisses me off, and my whole mood just shifts.

She has done a lot of good in my life, I realized I can get someone to love me for me, I can be myself, not be as selfish, break bad habits, and raise my self esteem (but drop it in other ways). I can honestly say I love her, but I don't know what to do about this relationship. Physically, she is literally perfect, physically she is everything I have ever wanted. Personality, the only problems I have is her past experiences, she is extremely sensitive (to the irritating extent), and that she is extremely lazy. She doesn't go to school, she doesn't work, she doesn't have a drivers license, and I steered her in the right direction to get it on track (nothing happened yet, but she is on the right track), but everything is done by force, shes really lazy.

I think our relationship is ruined beyond repair. I don't like being around her because I'm scared she'll say something (usually harmless) and I get either pissed off or upset, and I'll start an argument. I don't like being without her, because shes all I have and because I don't trust her.

I honestly doubt I will ever get a girlfriend as good as her, because in my eyes, besides our rough start of our relationship, and the few things I named before, she is perfect. Inside and out. I'm sure over time (usually a while) I can get another girlfriend, but I won't want to be with them or I just won't take the relationship seriously because I won't find them to be as good, and I mean both personality and looks. Everything about her is perfect, but our relationship seems hopeless because of the awful start.

What should I do...I want her, but I don't think we can be together.





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