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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I know what you are going through, and I know that it is the hardest thing you have done in your life right now, for some it is a no brainer, but to make that leap, and change your life, is so scary. You have so many benefits, you are young, your baby is still a baby, you can get assistance maybe go to a abuse shelter and they can help you get started on your own. What will your boyfriend do when you leave, and what part of the childs life will he take part in?

I would say that if he is not willing to go to counseling it is time you make a plan and leave. You need an exit plan, and go to an abuse shelter, you said you have no family. I would call them and talk, they are wonderful and they can calm your fears about coming to see them. Wouldn't it be nice not to be scared, and to get some help and assitance to get you and your baby on your own 2 feet? There are so many programs out there, like housing, food programs, college scholarships, daycare, and even programs that can you a vehicle and phone. You can do this, it is about your child and you. It is hard when you feel like everyday you try to not set him off, or walk on eggshells to avoid an issue that makes him mad and then you are his punching bag.

I will tell you this, stress and anxiety have hurt me so much. I take care of my children, and I stay at home with them, and my husband works a lot. I am very lucky to be able to stay home. My health has gone downhill over the last 8 months, and it started with migraines, and then a huge tmj flare up, that was caused by grinding and clenching, and then my body seemed to join in and I am now in chronic pain with a whole list of illnesses, and some are heridtary but some are due to chronic stress, and my marriage, even though I love and adore my husband, a rough patch took a toll on my body. Stress over time can do some terrible things to you, and you need to take care of your baby. I am telling you this because if you stay and it stays the same, or gets worse, it can make you sick, almost toxic. There are so many reasons this is time for you to move on if he is not willing to go to counseling.

Please we all care, and we all do it in different ways. Some people just think it is so easy, and a no brainer, if you are abused then leave, I believe the statistic is that it takes an abused person 3 times before they finally leave for good. Meaning they attempt it, and go back, attempt it again and go back, and then finally they are done, and do it for good. Please start an exit plan, and get on the phone and get some help lined up.

Please keep posting, we are all worried about you. I will be praying and think of you.


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