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Relationship Health Message Board

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I hear you all loud and clear. I have a sister I have to set loose before she takes the last bit of exasperation out of me. Actually I sat and typed a letter today listing all her narcistic ways, it took 2 pages to list all the self-centered egotiscal things she has done towards me. She will never own blame if she does something wrong, it always gets manipulated and turned into my fault or someone elses fault. I just can't take her anymore. I have always been there for her, I listen to her bable about how tough she has it and blabla bla. She's the hardest worker, the busiest person, she figures she is still so hot at 50 and is not shy to say it. Conceided I tell you. She has a 21 daughter who is almost exactly like her mom a mini-narsassist. My sister will call and babble drunk and that is just something else. 2 weeks ago she was going through something to do with her vehicle and the cost and she called me everyday to talk this out and I dutifully listened to it all over and over again. Well now she has all that straightened out and I needed someone to talk to the other day about something I was going through-she told me she would call me after work and we could talk. I was looking forward to our talk so I could release some of my stress, just a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen to me vent. But NO she couldn't take the time out of her busy stressed out life to care about me. I was hurt because I needed someone and she let me down. The next day she called me and never even considered asking me how I was or apoligising for not calling. She jumped right into what she did the night before and wow what a good time they had and so on and so on. When she was done talking about herself, I said "well I really don't have much to say to you right now, and you know she couldn't figure out why s0 I told her she let me down when I needed her, well the poor stressed out said "I don't need this from you!" and hung up on me like she always does when it's not about her. She called last night and totally twisted the whole thing into my fault- I was rude to her and how dare I speak to her that way and I'm just not there yet with your issues yadda yadda! I finally got a word in and said "all I said was you disappointed me as you could not take the time to be there for me. At that she said well I want to end this relationship with you I don't need your crap etc I was stunned! She manipulated it on me and she always does this, she is my sister as I have no choice but she will never be considered my friend. She does not know the meaning of friendship, it's all about her. I am 54 and she is 50 and acts like the same narsistic spoilt brat she was as a child. She doesn't care one ioda what anyone else is going through, well she hit home this time because I have to let the relationship go, it angers and upsets me too much and I just don't understand how anyone can be so self-absorbed and I give up trying to figure it out, I have to. She has let me down so many times it saddens me. When my mom was told she had 4 months to live, I looked after my mom myself. No offer of help, no show of concern never came to visit and we are only half hour away. I felt so bad for my mom and so stunned at the lack of caring my sister showed- it blew me away! I wanted to be with my mom till she took her last breath and it was important to me to be there for her, I would do anything for her. All my sister was concerned with was having an affair with her husbands best friend and co-worker (who she is now living with) and how people were giving her a hard time. I didn't even have time to concern myself with her little affair! our mother was dying never to be seen again! That really hurt me. So I have one of thos NPD people in my family and they are very strange I will say. How can they live with themselves being so uncaring and selfish? I have always felt for other people and any pain they are going through, I worry about people like her who I have fianlly realized does not deserve my concern. I know this will be hard, probably one of the most difficult decisions I have had to make, but I give up. Then when my sister adds booze to the mix that's really something she starts slapping her boyfriend even company around if they are not partying her way. I don't drink or party with her so she doesn't get the opportunity to slap me, quite a gal-my sister. Sorry I babbled but oh my goodness I had to get it out. I won't mail that letter because I know she will read the first line and toss it out but it sure felt good telling her off in my letter. Maybe try that because these personalities are too thick headed to ever get it.

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