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Relationship Health Message Board

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May 8, 2008
I'm going to just lay out some facts, and hopefully I can get some insight on what to do (or not to do), since it would be too long a post to type. I met someone on the internet dating sites. She's 27, i'm 35. We had a wonderful first date; loads of chemistry, fun, etc. She said that she never goes out, never went to spring break, etc, etc. We slept together on the 2nd date. She's been really hurt in the past by her ex fiancee. He had another girlfriend, and got caught about 8 months ago. Anyway, since she said that she never goes out much, she either went out or said she made plans to go out about 4 times in a week. When I brought up that I thought she sad she never went out, we somehow got into a pretty big argument on it all. She didnt seem to listen to what my point was, which was it sounded like a contradiction. Being marriage-minded, i'm ot looking for someone who constantly goes out, and since she said that she was marriage minded, I thought she's understand. She kept up the argument with her making it seem like I didnt want her to go anywhere with her friends, which was absolutely not true. I just wouldnt want her in bars all the time, and I never go there either. Anyway, we made up, and a few days later, I noticed that she had an AOL profile on stating that shes a Pagan witch, and she practices white magic! When I read this profile to her over the phone, she got really upset, said it must of been her ex fiancee, and gave me the password to delete it, and remove the account. I could remove the account, since you have to call, but I wiped out everything else that had to do with her, and changed the password to lock it out. I didnt want to tell her that I couldnt delete the account, since I didnt want to upset her more, but I forgot the password that I entered. Somehow I slipped up and she wanted the password, and since I couldnt give it to her because I didnt know it, she got more upset, said she cant trust me, and hung up on me. She later texted me saying that we should forget everything and go our seperate ways. I called her and spoke with her right after, and we made up. The next day, we went out and later on asked her if when she broke up with me had I not called, if she would of. She said no, and that she believes that the man should "fight" for the woman. I also asked if she thought she was too harsh with me the day before. She got really annoyed, went on a tangent saying that I always prod and question everything, it was all my fault about the password for getting upset with her fr being upset with me, and then said "so yea, tough sh*t."! Is this how you talk to someone whom you dont want to argue with? I found myself not wanting to be there, and felt like I was in the wrong place. I left, and on the way home she texted me sauying that that was awkward. I pretended to not know what she meant, because I didnt want to argue anymore. The next day I didnt receive any txts from her, and then later on received one that she said "I guess we tried". When I asked her what she meant, se said that this was crazy, and she'll call me later. That night she texted me again saying that she's not my type, and that she doesnt want to waste my time. She also said that she's afraid to got out with her friends, and that she never fought with anyone that much before. I agreed with her, and then she said that she doesnt like doing this, but shes trying to be smart. She then said that I can emai her if I wanted to talk. I told her that I have enough friends, and that it would be innapropriate for me. she texted me a few more times, then I told her that I wish her the best of luck meeting whatever shes looking for. She told me that too, and when I said take care, she again said that if I ever needed anything, I know where to find her. I told her i'd be fine. We went way too fast, and I intended to see one another once a week. She started to complain about that, saying that we should increase that. I didnt want to ruin things, but wanted to take it slow. She would always text me everyday, talk about meeting parents, and believed that one day we would marry. Always references to our future. She was a beautiful girl, and she knew it, so that alone was slightly unnerving for me. So how can someone who "likes me alot", makes references to the future, talks marriage, hated when i'd go home (always wanted me to sleep over), and texted me all day every day do a 360 like that? She even wanted to go away with me as soon as possible. She said that I was her first date in 8 months since the ex. I understand that the first time she broke up with me probably was a "threat" breakup since she got right back with me. What about this second time? Why tell me I can email her? Since she believes that the man should "fight" for the woman, is that what shes waiting for me to do? I did say that I hope shes 100 percent positive, because i'm not fighting for this again since its the second time.

I waited a week, then texted her at work saying that i'd like to meet up for a drink, and this time with no expectations, arguing, etc. Basically to start new, and to take it slow like we should of. She texted me right back, and said that it's a little soon for us since we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, and said that she couldnt that week because she was going on a company trip, and counteroffered to have a "casual" drink the next week (this week), and see where it goes. I agreed, but made it clear that I wasn't trying to be just friends. She understood, but said that in the meantime she doesnt want to stop me from meeting/dating other people. She said that she didnt want to date anyone for a little while. Anyway, she said that she did like me, and did want to keep in touch. Anyway, she said she'll call me soon, and we'll have a drink. It's now Thursday of the next week, and still no contact, although she sent me an email the day after I texted her that was a foward of a joke which she fowarded to 7 other people. Thoughts, suggestions? I guess we're not having that casual drink, huh? Very scary that there's people out there who just has no consideration for other peoples feelings. I gave her a perfect out sending a text, an saying that I didnt want to be just friends. At that time, she could of just said forget it, since she had no problem dumping me twice before. Nice to just leave someone hanging, huh? Technically the week's not over, but it's Thurday already.

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