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[QUOTE=binky32;3564164]I've been with this person for 8 months and things have been crazy:confused:. I fell in love with him and i thought he felt the same way. 2 months went by and he broke my heart by leaving me for my cousin. I know it's stupid of me for being with someone who would do this to me, but i cant believe how much I care about him... Anyways, the whole time he was with her, he was staying with me every night and we go to the same school. he only saw her once a week and i couldnt understand why he didnt want to be with me. I never did anything wrong but love him It made me so mad, ,and I dnt know why I put up with it, I guess it was because of love. They were together for about a month and 2 weeks. then they broke up, and me and him still spent every second together. We have had fights but told each other we'd never leave each other. I feel that he loves me but isnt in love with me... no matter how much he tells me he loves me, he wont make me his girlfriend, but i dont know why because he doesnt mess with anyone else. Now he wants to leave me and I dont know how to handle it, I can't let go, I thought he'd be the ONE for me, ya kno the one you'd spend the rest of your life with. When he says he doesnt want to be with me anymore, my stomach hurts and my heart beats real fast and uncontrollable tears start pouring out, i love him. I honestly dont know what to do without him:(. WHAT DO I DO:confused::(???[/QUOTE]

You mentioned school, can I assume this is high school? And therefor you are still pretty young?

First of all, I think you need to ask yourself just exactly what it is you love about a boy who runs off and takes up with your cousin after only being with you for two short months, and who plays with both your cousin and you and playing you both against each other, and a boy who takes and takes and takes from you but won't give anything back in return? Sorry, but I don't see anything to love there. I agree with the above poster who said you don't love him, because there's nothing there to love. How could you really love HIM when he hasn't given you any good reason to love him? It's not like he's been loyal, faithful, honest or respectful to you, so how could you really love him? You love the idea of having someone, you love the guy you keep hoping he'll magically turn into one day, but you don't really love HIM.

I highly highly recommend a book called He's Just Not That Into You. It's filled with what should be obvious advice, but unfortunately so many times we women can't see the forest for the trees. It will really open your eyes and I think it should be required reading for every high school girl in the country. This guy would make you his girlfiend, this guy would not have bailed out on the relationship two months in and take up with your cousin if he had any kind of love or respect for you. That's the hard, cold truth.

You are going to meet and date a LOT of men in your lifetime, and each and every single one of them will wipe their feet on you if you don't start learning how to stand up for yourself and not put up with such rotten treatment. You can't beg him into loving you, you can't fix him, save him, change him, you can't love him into loving you, and you can't wish or hope or pray him into the man you want him to be. He has a free will and a mind of his own and he will be who he chooses to be. And for whatever reason, he chooses to be the guy who cheats on you, holds you at arm's length, refuses to commit to you and treats you badly. It has nothing at all to do with your love. As hard as it is for us to realize, life is not the Beauty and the Beast fairy tale. Our love doesn't have the magical power to turn a beast into a loving, loyal prince. It doesn't matter how well or how hard or how much we love someone. That alone doesn't determine whether they love us back. There's so much more to it, compatibility, chemistry, the energy between the two people, etc. It doesn't mean your love isn't any good, it just means he's the wrong guy to spend it on.

He's made his choice and you can't unmake it for him. The only thing you can do now is to make YOUR choice - do you continue to be his victim and suffer heartache after heartache after heartache and let him play you for a fool until he's bored of it, begging him not to leave you so he can treat you like crap some more, OR do you say to yourself "this isn't what I want, I want and need and deserve more out of a relationship and I ain't gonna get it from this bozo, so I'm going to find a good guy who treats me like I deserve." The choice is yours and no one else's.

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