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Relationship Health Message Board

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I may have gone off the hinge my last post to you and Iím sorry for that but, my anger may have covered my whole point that I was trying to make. You repeatedly cheated on both of these women BUT only tried to get help/advice after you lost them both. During your adventure, a.k.a. dating both, why didnít you see the harm that you were causing?

FYI I have never been cheated on but I think my current bf may be cheating on me with his ex. (and it hurts bad) My previous relationship (First real relationship) ended as a result of major drug addiction and OCD, multiple personality disorder as well as many others. Ultimately leaving me to raise my daughter alone at 17. Although not exactly your current situation, I see a lot of his mannerisms, attitude in your writing.

He didnít understand that there were consequences to his actions. He repeated to make promises that he couldnít keep and lied without acknowledging the damage that would ultimately do to our relationship. You enjoyed having both of these women. You repeatedly got what you wanted time after time which was forgiveness. Think about it, you are hurting right now but, Lindsey needed to put her foot down out respect for herself. Your actions were making her unhappy, hurt, and betrayed. Let her feel some pride and dignity for loving herself. I am afraid to give you any helpful advice because the way I see it is you are a master manipulator. You talk sweet and you get what you want and I donít want you to harm either of these women again. It is far easier to talk to people over the computer and I MYSELF do not know what your intentions are. You REALLY need to spend some time with a professional because you are lacking self esteem. You need to feel comfortable in your own skin and believe in ONE woman. Relationships are hard but you canít keep running. If you stick it out, and share with her your feelings, fears, joys you will grow closer and never consider hurting her. I really hope you get opportunity to experience that. I really do.

Best of luck and take care of your little boy.[/QUOTE]

Intersting because I had been a lurker and recently read your story and Scorpiolovers and found it a bit similar in that there was minipulation that played a big role in both situations. You never know what he is saying to both women, typically the goal of the cheater is to get both to despise each other as he is telling them both the same things, that way they won't want to communicate further allowing the cheating to continue.

I have had been very skeptical of Scorpios intention to change with how he protrayed Sharon and I have to wonder what the two women's versions would be? As for your situation it seems that both you and the ex-gf may be being told the same things. Perhaps the same things to convince both that you he loves only them. I have to wonder if that is what happened with Scorpios situation as well.

I do agree with everything you wrote though in regards to this situation.

My heart goes out to both women involved.

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