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[QUOTE=AnnD;3572697]You can add all the fluff words you want but the bottom line is you are having an affair with a married man.   He is very aware of his good looks and this is not the first time he has done this nor will it be his last.  All he has to do is look around his work environment to see who is the most available to his looks and after trying out others you fell into his trap. I wonder how many diseases he is taking from one women to the other.    I am sorry his wife has to go through this...he has already starting to leak out details of his affair and it won't be long until everyone you are close to will never trust you again.  I am guessing he is getting ready to move on to another affair...meanwhile you are the keeper of his secrets...it will be you that suffers the most from this.  Men seem to get away with these kinds of things but women pay a very big price.  Good luck.[/QUOTE]

AnnD - Your post brought me to tears. 

I am a little confused about the “fluff words”.  Are you referencing my style of writing, or are you saying I wrote my post in a manner to gain sympathy?  As I basically said in my first paragraph, I’m not looking for sympathy, rather I am seeking honest advice. The details I provided-- though many-- were included so that you could form an educated and honest opinion.

As for his good looks… yes, he is gorgeous and that is not just my opinion.  He also has a very magnetic personality which draws both men and women, wherever he goes.  He always finds himself the center of attention.  He has a deep, sexy voice that can be detected in a crowd and speaks in an highly educated manner.  He has a great sense of humor and I have never seen him in a bad mood.  Many times I can hear his laugh echoing in the hallways. Also, he is a kind man who will help anyone whenever needed.  This man could have any woman he wanted.  When we go to a restaurant with others or even when it’s just he and I at the bar after work, women will approach him when he gets up to go to the bathroom.  They will flirt with him when he walks up to the bar to order me another drink, and sometimes he will even buy them one too.  I can’t say whether we equal each other physically.  I am not unattractive, but I refuse to classify myself.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  If he thinks I am beautiful (which he has told me), then I am beautiful.  But if the man that lives next door thinks I look like doggy doo doo, then guess what that makes me?

I am hesitant to think he has had an affair before me.  It could be possible, but our company hired him into a senior ranking position straight from college.  He and his wife were dating a year (possibly a little longer) before they were married and I witnessed him reject many women then.  Because of his executive position, he is held to a higher standard and level of accountability than others.  He has said that there were a few instances he was tempted by other women, but found it wasn’t worth the risk.  I guess somehow he can justify the risks while carrying on with me.  I don’t understand what it is about me that allowed him to cross that line.  Maybe you are right that he set a trap that I fell right into and was too weak to even realize it.

You mentioned that you thought he was getting ready to move on to another affair.  What gave you that indication?  Because he might be changing jobs?  Because he confided in someone about the affair?  By the way, after being probed about it, he would not give up the name or any information about the woman.  I don’t think he would ever expose me.  I am not a vindictive person, but he is aware that with my knowledge of many aspects of his life I could tear him apart. Allthough, if he were to move on to another affair, that would mean an easier break for me. It certainly wouldn't benefit his wife, but it would take me out of the picture.

Even though it’s terribly hypocritical for me to say this… I feel sorry for his wife as well.  I wish I could remove myself as a source of her pain.  I don’t know whether she is aware he is having an affair, but if she is, I doubt she realizes it’s me.  But, that dreadful day may come.

Thank you for wishing me luck; I will be needing it.  But, I think I am just as confused, if not more so now…





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