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[QUOTE=JennyLee123;3574839]It's very hard. I just keep replaying over and over again in my head about what my friends said about me being weird and not likely to have a boyfriend. I'm thinking that it must be true since i have yet to get one. I even have anxiety around men, afraid that they will not like me once they get to know me.[/QUOTE]

I would suggest stop spending so much time around people who call you weird. That's a put down, and of course you're never going to feel strong, confident and comfortable in your own skin when you surround yourself with people who constantly put you down. Even if it means going your own way for a while, no matter how hard it is. Being totally alone, as awful as it is, is still better than being around people who chip away at your self esteem and who make you feel bad about being you. Especially if they can't be contructive about it. They don't even tell you HOW you're 'weird' or why, or what you can do about it. Those aren't friends. Friends enrich and enhance your life and lift you up, not knock you down. You can't grow, mature and improve in a vaccuum. It takes being around supportive people who care about you unconditionally, who will be straight with you but still love you and be elevating to become your highest self. If these "friends" aren't doing it for you, you need to separate from them, pursue your passions and hobbies and form new friendships. I'm hardly an expert, as I really don't have any friends myself. I have some really good acquaintances, but no one I would really call a friend. I'm not sure if I ever will have "friends" again, I really haven't had what I would consider a really good friend since I was a child. People think I'm "weird" too, but what can I do? I can change little things about my communication style, the verbal messages I send out, being more respectful in how I voice my opinions, but at the end of the day, I'm still me, and always will be. I don't really know what to tell you. I've been in many situations when all i had to do is walk up to someone and smile and they hated me. Some people are just like that. I don't know why, but all you can do is what you can do. The rest is out of your control.

There must be something that makes you happy, music, reading, road trips, sewing, collecting something, outdoor sports, something. Think about what that is and how to incorporate that into your life as much as you can.

As my shrink told me, of course nothing compares to sharing your life with a good, loving trustworthy companion. She was happily married and pregnant, so she knew there was no sense in her trying to BS me. Nothing you can make or build or create on your own will ever compare to having loving, FAITHFUL, TRUSTWORTHY arms to fall into, smiling eyes across the dinner table, a best friend to curl up on the couch and watch tv with, to do the dishes with, a LOVING, LOYAL, COMPASSIONATE lover to go to bed with (words capitalized because being with a GOOD man is better than being alone, but as much as alone sucks, BAD company is WORSE!!). That's just fact. But you can't rely on that happening. And you can't just decide to throw your whole life away just because it never happens. Come up with a plan B, a plan C, and put them into action. All we have is today anyway. You could meet the love of your life tomorrow, then get hit by a bus the next day. And what did you do with all the days before you met him? You've got to learn to make the most of what has been given to you today, and who knows, when you least expect it, when you're out having a great time with what you've got going today, you get swept off your feet by your dream guy just when things were going great.





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