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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I know it can be really hard to stand by when we see a dear friend making a huge mistake or falling off the morality wagon so to speak. We want them to listen to us and do what we say and take our advice, but I learned the hard way that you really can't force an adult to behave the way you want them to. All you can do is let your opinion be known and let them make their mistake and learn the lesson from it and help pick up the pieces when it's over. In the case of something like addiction, more drastic action may need to be taken, like an intervention where you say "I won't love you to death, get help or you can't be in my life like you have been anymore, etc." but in this case, you know you really can't scold, judge, shame, cajole or otherwise nudge him into doing what you think is the right thing. If it is affecting you to a degree where it's seriously interfering with your life and your other relationships, you may need to taper off the friendship, pull back or break off contact with this guy altogether, but if you really value the friendship, you just have to ride it out and hope he comes to his senses soon. After all, you can't pick who he falls for or cheats with or anything like that.

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