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I guess the reason I'm sort of wanting to know, seemingly in a rush, is because there is someone else out there who likes me and wants to go out. I just don't want to "juggle" guys right now, it's too difficult even finding time to "hang out" with one! Since I know I like this drummer guy pretty well (read: more and more each day) and want to get to know him better, I wish I could know how he feels.

After telling a few friends about not "making a move" on Sunday evening when I had the perfect opportunity, they all gave me a hard time and kept saying, "oh just kiss him already." Well, I'm not going to do that. I couldn't bring myself to even touch his arm!

So finally, [U]I went out on the tiniest, safest limb I could go out on[/U]...I e-mailed him about some random music/band stuff and at the end wrote:

[SIZE="1"][edit out random chit chat][/SIZE]

[I]I have to work early on Saturday but was thinking of doing something, possibly maybe out and and about. Or tomorrow? Or, I don't know...I like hanging out with you :)[/I]


He replied:

[SIZE="1"][edit out his random chit chat replies][/SIZE]

[I]We can do something fun sometime in the next few days.
You're cool to hang out with too :)[/I]


So...heh. I don't know. I sent that bit to a male friend of mine who keeps saying, "he likes you, kiss him dag on it". It is frustrating playing that guessing game all the time -- I usually almost always know going in on a first date how someone feels (you get the vibe fairly early on). He did call me Tuesday night to ask me how my recording project was going and was really stumbling on his words again. I guess I fluster him which I suppose should be a sign. As I said before, after the break-up from last summer, I still have a lot of issues and the idea of being rejected right now is terrifying!

Oh, and the car thing was because he had his drum kit at his friends house and I didn't know where we were going and met him at his house. It was just easier for me to drive so I didn't have to get my bass and amp out of the back of my car and transfer to his...I have gone out with a few guys without cars...drag city!
[QUOTE=MouseOnMars;3611876]So, at least 6 dates later and still no kiss, not even a goodnight hug. He is very shy but this is making me crazy! Friends keep telling me to go in and do it myself but I'm really afraid of rejection right now!

He and I spent most of the weekend together. He is sick, sore throat, congestion, achey but still said he wanted to "hang out". I thought that was a sure sign of liking me since, y'know, he wanted to be with me even when he didn't feel well. So, because of the throat and such, I decided I wouldn't try and kiss him or anything. He asked me out this Wednesday and I said, "yeah, of course" so it should be a good time (again, we seem to have great times together and he has even commented "it's weird how we have so much in common").

So, last night I was feeling a bit cheeky and decided I would text him (plus my electricity was out and I was bored silly). This is the conversation:

[I]Me: wah, my electricity is out[/I]
Him: Sh*t.
Him later: Do you need anything?
[I]Me: Electricity and... a pony.[/I]
Him: LOL, I don't think I have either.
[I]Me: You don't have electricity either?[/I]
Him: Oh, I mean I can't send you electricity like Magneto.
[I]Me: thought you didn't have electricty, so a pony will do[/I]
Him: heh
[I]Me later: So are you feeling better?[/I]
Him: yeah, a lot but i'm still a bit congested in the chest
[I]Me: Good, maybe when you feel better we can makeout :p[/I]
Him: Huh?
[I]Me: my battery is dying, I'm going to just go to sleep[/I]
Him: ok, sleep well.

So, I have no idea how to translate that. What part of make-out does a grown man not understand? Was it because he didn't think I liked him? Did he think this was from left field? Did he say "huh?" to keep the conversation going?

[note: my battery really was dying but also I didn't know how to respond, heh][/QUOTE]

Hmmmm....this is very odd indeed!

On the one hand it seems like he really does like you and is just kind of shy/reserved/or afraid of rejection himself. Otherwise, he wouldn't be spending so much time with you. But on the OTHER hand it seems like he doesn't like you in a romantic way because he's not picking up on the "flirting signals" that you're clearly giving him. Hmmmm....even I'm confused! :confused:

Ok first...let's rule out some things. Are you SURE that he is:

-Straight?
-Single?
-Emotionally available?

Have you asked him any questions about his past? Like, maybe in a playful way ask him why a musician like himself doesn't have any groupies chasing after him or something....I don't know. Maybe just a way to get him to open up about past relationships (if he's had any).

Also, find out if he's very religious. I know some men will try to go slow, or more on the conservative side if they've been brought up in a religious household.

From the way you describe it, it seems as if your flirting via text may have taken him by surprise, or been a bit too strong for him. I dont' know... :( That's just the impression I'm getting. Most guys would have jumped on some of those flirting cues. Or at least laughed or put a smiley face. The fact that he just said: "Huh?" Makes me wonder..... I don't know.....

If I were you I would back off just slightly and wait for more cues from him. He may just be shy, but I would try to just focus on having FUN with him right now and being a "cool girl". Don't try to rush things, or figure out what he's thinking or how he's feeling about you and whether he's interested in you romantically.

Just relaaaax.........have fun getting to know him! :D
[QUOTE=MouseOnMars;3611876]So, at least 6 dates later and still no kiss, not even a goodnight hug. He is very shy but this is making me crazy! Friends keep telling me to go in and do it myself but I'm really afraid of rejection right now!

He and I spent most of the weekend together. He is sick, sore throat, congestion, achey but still said he wanted to "hang out". I thought that was a sure sign of liking me since, y'know, he wanted to be with me even when he didn't feel well. So, because of the throat and such, I decided I wouldn't try and kiss him or anything. He asked me out this Wednesday and I said, "yeah, of course" so it should be a good time (again, we seem to have great times together and he has even commented "it's weird how we have so much in common").

So, last night I was feeling a bit cheeky and decided I would text him (plus my electricity was out and I was bored silly). This is the conversation:

[I]Me: wah, my electricity is out[/I]
Him: Sh*t.
Him later: Do you need anything?
[I]Me: Electricity and... a pony.[/I]
Him: LOL, I don't think I have either.
[I]Me: You don't have electricity either?[/I]
Him: Oh, I mean I can't send you electricity like Magneto.
[I]Me: thought you didn't have electricty, so a pony will do[/I]
Him: heh
[I]Me later: So are you feeling better?[/I]
Him: yeah, a lot but i'm still a bit congested in the chest
[I]Me: Good, maybe when you feel better we can makeout :p[/I]
Him: Huh?
[I]Me: my battery is dying, I'm going to just go to sleep[/I]
Him: ok, sleep well.

So, I have no idea how to translate that. What part of make-out does a grown man not understand? Was it because he didn't think I liked him? Did he think this was from left field? Did he say "huh?" to keep the conversation going?

[note: my battery really was dying but also I didn't know how to respond, heh][/QUOTE]


That is just hillarious!!! :D I can just imagine the thoughts that were probably rolling around in his poor head all night long.I bet he was "Up all night"! HA HA HAAAA!!!

Anyway,hope everything works out and he liked the hint. :)
So, finally! A kiss. I mean, a night of kissing! I told him that I didn't think he liked me based on the fact that he didn't initiate anything before and he said that he really is terrible at that kind of thing and was very happy that I "came out" about it. I guess that is a dating lesson learned -- nothing ventured, nothing gained!

He sent me a text earlier saying that seeing me yesterday made him really happy and that he is looking forward to us "hanging out" on Friday night. He really is sweet and hopefully I will be able to lure him out of shy-dom, or at least being shy around me.

The only thing that made me slightly uncomfortable was that he said that he was not in a period of his life where he really wants a serious relationship (he's going to school, working half-time and playing music). I told him that I'm fresh out of a not-so-good relationship and that I had a terrible break-up last summer and I'm not so sure I'm ready either but that I liked spending time with him. He said ditto and he is adorable :)





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