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Okay, long story--trying to make short.
I am single 29 year old female; never married, no kids. A year ago I fell in love with my best guy friend who has 3 children and a psycho ex wife. Not the ideal situation; but when it comes to matters of the heart--one can't control who they fall in love with. We got serious; moved in together and due to horrible issues with the ex wife trying to ruin our relationship by manipulating with the use of his and her children; we broke up; he moved out and I was heartbroken. 6 months went by and we have reunited the past month because even though we went our seperate ways and I thought I was done with him we have an intense connection and love I have NEVER experienced with anyone else even though I have had a couple of serious relationships and have dated several other people in my single time. My issue is this: My parents are still married. I am so fresh to this and he is the only man I have ever dated seriously with children and an ex wife. Is it possible that we can make this work?!?! He wants to build a life with me; although he has alot to prove to me after the previous break up; knows this and has done everything to prove to me how much he loves me and how much he is ready to make this really work. So my question; to you all out there that have dealt with the "mixed/seperated" familes and made it work: How do you make it work? How do you deal with a psycho ex wife? How do you deal with being in love and in a situation that is so not "ideal"? Can I make this work? Or am I fighting against the unevitable situation? Should I just keep dating until I find someone else that has no baggage like this? I dated again after we had broke up and again as much as I would connect and had feelings and fun with these other guys; they were not him, they were not my best friend. I question everyday why I had to fall in love with a man with all these issues and have tried to push myself away and do what seems "easier" but its not my heart. He is my heart. His kids are my heart. But trusting him when he talks to his ex and when he goes to pick them up causes me such anxiety that it is consuming and feels unhealthy. I know some would advise me to go with him when he meets her to get the kids; but we decided to keep me away from his children this time around to make sure that we are working out fine before we involve the children (it was heartbreaking for me and also for the kids when we broke up). We want to do it right this time and only involve the kids once we are official for the kids sake. Is this impossible to work? I want this more than anything and so does he but its takes incredible TRUST (which is low cause of issues last time); incredible sacrafice on my end because the kids come first and they should; but I do require alot of attention. And incredible patience and understanding on my part dealing with the ex wife; the games she plays and knowing that sometimes plans with me and him get ruined due to emergencies with the kids or the ex causing problems. Am I beating a dead horse here? There is a 60% divorce rate. Many divorced people have kids. Many of these people remarry and start a new family with the "already made family". I know this situation is not uncommon; but my experience in this type of stuff is so new. What to do?!?! How do you all who are in the situation deal with it and make it work? I need major advice and am not willing to give up on this cause he means the world to me and I can't imagine life without him. I was without him for 6 months and although life went on and the stress level was lower it was an absolute answered prayer that he is back in my life. I want to make this work I just don't know how?!?! HELP. Thanks:(





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