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She wanted the divorce. She had moved on to several boyfriends while they were seperated. I met him at my job and we were friends for months. I had no intention to ever go beyond friendship with him and he felt the same way. During the time I was friends with him he was still suffering from the aftermath of the divorce and I know first hand how much he loved her and was saddened that his marriage failed. At some point we fell in love with one another; but because of knowing how he felt about her I have a hard time accepting that he cares for her since shes the mother of his children and thats it. I have my own insecurities. She has made comments, when we were together previously she would leave nasty messages on our voicemail one including that if he didn't call her immediately she will tell me everything I don't want to know. I know several people that say even when people get divorced they often still sleep together especially when kids are involved due to that bond. I am jealous shes the mother of his kids and I'm not. When we broke up rumors went around that he got back with her and had been sleeping with her towards the end of our relationship. He denies it to this day and there are several crediable people that back him up as well on that so honestly I don't know. The only people that know are him and her so yeah, that didn't help the trust issues. I have a hard time getting close, dealing with the pain of loosing someone so I have trust issues anyways...cause I'm terrified to give someone my all only for them to break my heart. It scares me. So there you guys have it...what do you think?
Wow guys, thanks for the advice. When we previously were together I did meet her. I had gone with him when he dropped off the kids, she stalked me at my local spot and I also tried to speak with her on the phone when she was calling and hanging up and calling and hanging up. She could never speak to me with respect or as an adult and I never stooped to her level. Never talked bad about her in front of her kids and never stooped to her level and returned her nasty phone calls. When someone leaves messages like "come on you little bi*tch and call me back"...uh duh..its not going to happen. After we broke up she had called my cell a couple times and I never answered, she never left a message. I refuse to interact with this woman until she respects me and I refuse to "give into" her little tactics of manipulation. Good news I just found out is that shes moving back to the home state with the kids where he and her are originally from. Hes not going. He says he likes his job and wants to build something here with me. He would like to be near his children but at the sametime understands that its not healthy for him to create a new life with me in the same town as her. Hes okay with seeing his children on holidays and having them with us in the summers. He will also fly there quite a few times a year to visit the kids or we'll fly them down here. This lets us breathe a little better and he feels good that his kids will be around several members of his family due to the lack of mothering skills due to several issues shes going through (drugs, abusive boyfriends, etc.) I understand I will always be second to those kids. Thats fine. They are awesome kids. So with that...I've decided to take things oneday at a time. He still has ALOT to prove to me as far as his readiness and commitment to our relationship this time around. I am not sure he will be able to stand being states away from his children so I have to wait and see how everyone involved handles this change. Honestly it would not surprise me if shes just taking them up there for the summer and then bringing them back but making a huge "moving scene" just to get reactions out of him again. Hes done with the games. Hes ready to move on with life. Hes tried to be civil with her and shes out of control. I think everyone needs this space right now in order for things to change positively especially for the kids. So it will be interesting to see how things turn out. And yes, even though he did "love" her I think she has done so much damage that hes finally had enough....and in the time we broke up he figured some things out, got his act together, and came back ready to make this really work. I'm going to be patient right now and hope for the best. Hes different this time around and see the change in him, his attitude, his everything. I appreciate all the advice and will keep you all updated. My hopes are that she really does move, the children get to be around extended family that can keep a healthy eye on them (they are excited to move back) and that he continues to call them daily, see them monthly or so, pay the child support, the ex finds a new love interest to harass, we build a relationship here and everyone moves forward. I have spoke with him several times about my insecurities and I also don't want to be the reason he doesn't move back to his home state. I refuse to be the reason he doesn't get to be near his children. We will see how it goes. Maybe we'll move together closer to his home state but far enough from her. I am going back to school in the fall and am going to focus on me right now, hopefully find a job (I got laid off 2 months ago) and take this relationship oneday at a time. I love him to death, and am willing to see how this all turns out but I refuse to loose my sanity with it like last time and if it gets to that ponit again, I'm out.

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