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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I am a woman and have the opposite problem. I keep getting involved with "artist" types and they are all poor, starving and can't pay their bills. Me, I'm in the arts field, have a master's degree, earn good money, own a home (i.e. I am completely self-sufficient) but for some reason I keep meeting and falling for men who don't have their act together. I'm just saying this to make the point that it isn't necessarily a "woman" thing and there is no guide or equation on how much you should spend on your girlfriend. She lived and was making it a long time before you came along and she can do it again without you so don't feel obligated.

If you want to help her that is one thing but if she expects you to help her out that is another. I have actually worked 2 jobs whilst living with someone who barely worked 20 hours a week because I "loved" them. The fact is, she may feel that the financial universe is conspiring against her but she can take on extra work and make significant cut backs on her "lifestyle" that you say she is accustomed to. There are many people in this world who feel that they are entitled to getting something for nothing or living above their means without repercussion.

In the end, a relationship should be built on love and mutual respect for each other. No one person should be holding the other one up. It is a joint affair. If you want to build a life together, then you both have to put in the grunt work. If she's not willing to be an equal partner in the early stages, chances are she will continue this pattern and you will come to resent her in the end.

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