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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

[QUOTE=dsheldon3;3597860]Maybe your boyfriend doesn't want a skinny beautiful model.Maybe he wants an unattractive fat girl[/QUOTE]

As a man who have had the unattractive female and the skinny beautiful type I can truly say neither type guarantees someone who is mentally fit enough to be in a happy relationship.

Generally speaking.....AGAIN generally speaking the unattractive girls I have been with do seem to have self esteem issues that usually de-rails the relationship. And although I have known many skinny types that were no conceded, empty headed and full of themselves the ones I date seem to always end up that way after awhile.

I have learned that first physical attraction is important but also how the person thinks about themselves is more important. To much is a problem as well as too little.

I like a plain Jane girl who looks average and is fine not being the hottest woman on earth, but still is fit both mentally and physically. So basically the most attractive mentally normal and rounded person I can find.
[QUOTE=Dark Stranger;3597757]More than once, I have contemplated leaving my boyfriend. I love him to the ends of the earth and he feels like he has become a part of me as well as my life. I would do anything for him and I would love to be with him forever. And you're probably wondering why I would ever want to leave him.

I have thought about leaving him because I feel he deserves better. I really do feel I am so physically unattractive that I don't deserve someone as wonderful as him. I want to let him go so he can find someone better, or someone who is at least better-looking...I almost feel selfish staying with him because I think he should have someone who is wonderful, and I don't feel that I meet that criteria.

DBF has never breathed an ill word of me. He brags about me to his friends, they all think I'm beautiful even though I'm very fat and he has always told me he loves me and that I am beautiful. So it is nothing he's said that makes me feel so down. I guess I just want the best for him, even if it means him being with someone else.

Has anyone ever felt like this? I don't want to feel this way, but I can't help it.[/QUOTE]

Of course your low selt esteem is at the root of this problem. If he's so great, and you clearly think he is, then why are you giving him so little credit? Why not let HIM be the judge of what kind of woman he wants to be with? All you need to do is treat yourself well, respect yourself and be the best you that you know how to be. Work toward being proud of yourself. You landed a great guy, so you must be doing something right. Take pride in that, and all the other wonderful things that make you you, and build on that. If you continue with an attitude of "I'm sorry you're with me, you deserve so much better than me, I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you" it will come through in everything the two of you do together, and it will get old for him eventually. If he's that great a catch, why chase him away? If you don't think you deserve the love and loyalty of a good man, then you can break up with him if you want to, but it won't fix the problem, and the problem is, you aren't proud to be you. Start there.

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