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Relationship Health Message Board

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I need some advice from you guys! Recently I started snooping on my boyfriend's phone and it has become an addiction. I need to stop doing it but besides resisting the temptation I think I need to deal with my deep rooted problems of insecurity and paranoia, so that the temptation/mistrust will be gone (I don't want to have to think about going through his phone every time I'm alone with it!).

I got cheated on in my very first serious relationship and I think it definitely scarred me, and I am constantly worried that I will be cheated on again. I have had 2 more relationships since that first one (one long distance which lasted almost 2 years and my current one for 1.5 years). I don't have reasons not to trust my boyfriend, I do think he is trustworthy guy but my fears always seem to get the better of me and I just get really uncertain and start doubting. Like yesterday I found out that this girl texted him, an old friend from university I gathered, which just said that she'd like to meet up since she just moved to town. It was a completely innocent text (at least from the tone of it) but I can't help worrying that there is something more. I just feel so silly for getting upset. I want to ask him who that girl is but obviously then he would know I snoop on his phone and that I don't trust him. What can I do to overcome my paranoia? I really want to learn to trust.

Please help! thanks!

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