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Relationship Health Message Board

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I agree with Happymom: if he actually hasn't said anything, it may be the case that you are simply projecting it.

Anyway, I wouldn't hasten to label him as not the right guy for you just because he might want you to lose weight. Perhaps you have been gaining this extra weight since you started dating him? Perhaps he is slim himself and thinks both of you would be more compatible physically if you had bodies of more or less the same size? Perhaps he is concerned about health problems in the future for you? Perhaps he thinks you will look more attractive if you lose some weight? Is there anything wrong with wanting one's girl-friend to look better? Well, I don't know.

But what about yourself? Do you think you could lose some weight? Do you think being slimmer would do you good? If so, why don't you start a routine to lose weight, preferably with the help of a professional? Tell your boy-friend about your intention and see what kind of reaction he has. I mean, do it mainly for yourself and for him as a side effect.

PS. I posted this before reading the original poster's second message.
[QUOTE=Klakkie;3602567]well guys for the first time in my life I dont know what to say and that is weird, but in a good way, your insites has realy opened a real perspective for me.

now the answer to that question, my boyfriend and I go out alot to the movies or something just to relax us, but as all men know girls *love* shopping so we regurarly go into clothing stores when I like something I search for my number which is a medium and then he asks me are you going to fit into a small, my answer no and then you should see his face. so that is where I got the idea that he wants me to lose weight.

Pendulum you are right he is quite slim but does a man realy want his girl to be as slim or even more slim than he is?and yes I could do with losing some weight but as I said I just have a few curves.[/QUOTE]

Just my two cents, but I don't think you should start making excuses for him. If he makes these kinds of comments on a regular basis, it can slowly but surely start to chip away at your self esteem, maybe even without you realizing it, and before you even know it, you're a neurotic mess constantly stressing about your weight. If you THINK he's concerned about your weight, then the next time he makes a comment like that, look him straight in the eye and tell him in a way that lets him know you don't need his assistance in that department, say "I know what size I wear, thanks." He's not your boss, he's not your dad, he's not your personal trainer, he's your boyfriend, and he's supposed to love and accept you for who you are. If he thinks you're too fat and he'd be happier if you lost weight, then he's the wrong man for you, it's as simple as that.

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