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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=MouseOnMars;3601880]She is madly in love with this guy. He *may* be telling her indirectly that she should lose the weight. Perhaps he never said to her, "I want you to look like a super model" but he *may* have said to her looking at another woman, "now that is a good looking body." Y'know, some guys actually do things like that -- it may be they just don't think when they speak [I]or[/I] they me be passively trying to drop the hint. I've been with guys who have done both. When you are madly in love with them, you look around these facts.

The fact that she *may* have insecurities doesn't address whether or not he actually has directly or indirectly told her to lose weight. She should explain the situation more before we assume that she has some self-esteem issues that she is projecting. She seems to be comfortable saying "I have a few curves" vs. someone with issues who may say, "I'm a big fat pig" (which is what I used to routinely tell myself no matter what weight I was at the time).[/QUOTE]

Just because a guy looks at another woman doesn't mean he indirectly telling his girlfriend to "lose weight". That's a very insecure way of thinking IMO. Do you look at other guys? Just because you do doesn't mean you want your boyfriend to morph into them. Being in a relationship doesn't make you any less human and occasionally you are going to notice someone attractive of the opposite sex. That doesn't make you love your SO less or want them to change, it's human nature.

I don't "assume" she has self esteem issues at all. But the fact is he didn't come right out and tell her to lose weight. She may have recently put on a few pounds and is self conscious, like one of the previous posters was.

Now Klakkie, you never actually answered the question as to why you feel he wants you to lose weight. I think the answer to that question will clear a lot of this debate up. Obviously you don't have to share it with us. But if you are not fat and he treats you great I really think it is more on you than him.
[QUOTE=happymom28;3601918]Just because a guy looks at another woman doesn't mean he indirectly telling his girlfriend to "lose weight". That's a very insecure way of thinking IMO.[/QUOTE]

That wasn't my meaning at all, I actually wrote:

[I]...but he *may* have [U][B]said[/B][/U] to her looking at another woman, "now that is a good looking body".[/I]

Meaning, he may have actually vocalized his opinion of another woman in front of his girlfriend thereby making her question his opinion of her body.

And, yeah, of course I look at other guys but I have the sensitivity to not say out loud to a guy I'm with that I find some other present person highly attractive. I have actually had a guy do it to me though and have witnessed guys doing it to other women (not saying that women do not do it, but I'm just basing this on my own experience).





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