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hey guys. i need some advice. i've already ask so many people for their opinion and i'm still stuck. here is the story. my current boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months. we met from school. about couple weeks ago, my bf told me to come over because he wanted to tell me something so i drove over to his place and he told me this his ex Ex (first love) is coming to visit him for the weekend. he said that they're best friends and nothing more. they've been best friends before they dated and also they ended on good terms.

after that, he had another gf after her who he has been with for 3 1/2 years. and i guess he started talkin to his ex ex again because the relationship b4 me and him went sour cuz she cheated on him. of course, when ur sad, who do u go to talk too... ur best friend.

anyways, i felt kinda like wow... he didn't bother asking me how i feel about that b4 any decision was made. yeah i know we're together for only 3 months but he told me he's not gonna b in a relationship if he knows it's not gonna be serious. i'm his 3rd gf that he ever had and last two were both serious. so yeah, he didnt call to say "oh me and so & so were talking and she wants to come visit. i was wondering how do u feel about that?" .... something ya know?

so i've been bleh for the couple weeks, couldn't stop thinking about that and also wish that weekend would just come so i can get over it and not feel this way anymore. and i thought this was over... so i asked him... where is she gonna stay? and he said she's staying at his place! so i was like okay, wow... that's enough. that's like the top of it right there. that's so unfair to me and stuff. and he said he's not gonna do anything because that would be too weird. i dunno what to do. he saw how hurt i was about this thinking i would understand that they're just friends. so since he notice that, he said that if he really wants to be with me, he has to let her go, even their friendship. so he said when the weekend comes, it's gonna be a way of saying goodbye.... i dunno if i should believe that or not but he said he knows i'm the one who he wants to be with and that i give him so much and more than his past relationship. so what hurts even more is that i gave him my virginity. it felt so right at the time. i don't regret it but it still something that's a big part of my life and i gave that to him ya know?

so i don't know what i should do. my friends told me to wait for the weekend to come and after that, decide what i want to do. if he cheats, than that's how i know or i have a strange feeling about it, then i need to do what's best for me. i also want to wait until the weekend to see if he knows i'm the one for him because he said all he needs to do is look at his ex's eyes and if he sees me in them then he'll know. and i keep hearing him saying how much he loves me and he would be so sad if i leave him and all this. he always assume things so i told him i know ppl makes mistake so i decided to give him a second chance but if he's messing up, than i am done for sure! he said he knows that we need to make decisions together and also think before he does anything. i dunno if he's saying that just so i stay?? i'm not sure. help!!!! there are times where i feel like he doesn't care for me but at the same time, i know he loves me. so i don't know what to do. since the relationship is still fresh, i still have time and not to have my heart break bad.

any advice will be great! sorry that it's long. i tend to blab a lot but i want you guys to know the full story so u know what's going on! :)
[QUOTE=Mary83;3609921]Wow, Red, 3 years and he did that!?!? How did you find out? I'm so sorry to hear that. I would be devastated. But, I give you major props for leaving and being done with him. You must be a very strong person. You did what most women know they should do but never have the courage to. Good for you![/QUOTE]

Maybe it's because I'm older (40s) but I am not going to put up with being treated like this. We have had issues in the past with this particular ex always calling, stopping by, trying to get him to come over, etc. and he always told me that she was still a friend but he didn't want to be with her in a relationship (sound familiar MissJean?). She has stopped by when I was there & he told her to leave every time. But I figure, it probably has happened before (we don't live together even though he's asked me to move in) and he just happened to get caught.

MissJean, your situation sounds so similar. There is no way your boyfriend's situation with his ex is a "just friends" deal because of the way he talks about her & to her. Whether or not they actually officially get back together, chances are she will always be in his life and you will have to wonder what's really going on. That's a lousy way to live. Hold out for a better relationship with a better guy!





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