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Indychris, this story hits so close to home for me... I have been married twice at my young age of 27. My first husband had a son when I met him and the son, B, was only 11 months old. My first husband, R, was a jacka... I was only 17 at the time and I instantly became a mother. I stayed up late with B, gave him his bottles, diaper changes, weaned him, potty trained him, you name it. His mother was not really in the picture as she was having MANY problems at the time. She has gotten things together now, but 10 years ago, her life was a mess. Yup, my boy, B, he is turning 11 this August.

poor B had no medical insurance and he really needed to go to the doctor. No one would take him or do anything about it. So, I decided it was my job. I was on welfare for my bio son with R, and was told the only way I could add B to the policy was if I married his father. Now I knew I didn't want to be married to that creep and that I would be miserable, but, he was the father of my child, I was the mother to his child, so why not give it a try? I feel that I need to point out here that I was the FIRST person B called mommy... oh, his bio mom was mad about that and hated me for it! But I was with this boy ALL THE TIME doing everything a mother should do, so it was only natural that he would call me mommy.

Well, that marriage only lasted a year, but we were together a total of 5 years. That was so hard for me. I didn't want to leave because of the boys. They were brothers and my son, N, grew up with B around. I knew it would be devastating for them, but I was tired of being abused day and night. I had no choice. I didn't even get to say good bye to B. He yanked him out of the house and just left. I didn't see him for a good 6 months after that.

Of course, R got a new girlfriend who was very young and immature and didn't want me anywhere near R. I would steal him away from her!! Lady, I was married to the guy and I left. Get a clue! So he was kept from me and his brother for about 6 months. R would sneak over and bring B to see us on occasion, but it was very rare.

Then when they broke up, I got my son back. I picked him up every weekend, had him over summer, winter, and any breaks. It was heaven. we went all over the place and ate all kinds of foods that he didn't get at home. He was so happy and he asked if he could live with me. Of course, his father did not permit that, but it was heartbreaking to hear every time I saw B, mom, when can I come to live with you. Have to talked to dad yet? I wanted to cry. Well, B grew up and he still came over from about when he was 6 to when he was about 9.

Then, the new wife entered the scene. She despised me and thought the only reason I wanted B was to get money from R. What is it with these immature girls? I would ask for money because I was taking BOTH his children out and I was in a hard place. He did nothing else for the children, was 100 dollars too much to ask every now and then?

One day I was waiting for a call about Brayden as his father promised we could see him on the 28th. I anxiously awaited for my phone to ring. I hadn't seen him in over a month. That horrible woman was keeping him from us. Well, no call. I tried calling cell phones, house phones, no answer. Finally SHE picked up the phone. I asked where he was and what was going on. Apparently it had been decided that "my services were no longer needed" exact words. I was never his mother and I never will be, so I need to get over it. Plus, she had given birth to #3, so now, he has other family besides Noah that he needs to spend time with.

I was heartbroken as she hung up on me telling me to never call again. Also, my husband had joined the army and we were moving to Germany, so they had to get used to not seeing each other... nice try. I felt like B was dead. I felt like I had lost a child. I didn't know what to tell my son who was longing to see his brother after a month and a half. No brother, not anymore. No son.

I mourned my son for a good two months. Nothing felt the same, life was meaningless, I felt so betrayed, belittled, dead. usually I would write to B on myspace and that's how we kept in touch during the week. Well, they took that away from us as well. B's bio mom was kind enough to let me see B when he visited her, but it had to be kept a secret. B told me that if he wrote to me on myspace, his father would hit him and that he had done so already. Wow. All I can say, is wow.

Long story just a bit shorter, I had my son ripped from me. No matter what people say or think, I know he's my son and he will always be. I can take comfort knowing that when he needed me the most, as a defenseless baby and toddler, I was there to protect him and give him a life he never would have had. I love that boy with all my heart and I will always think of him as my son. The good thing is, he thinks of me as his mom and always will. He told me so recently and said that he's sorry he can't write to me, but that he gets in trouble. But recently they haven't been checking myspace and he goes to his friend's house where he writes to me. He asks me when I'm coming back because he misses me and N. It makes me so happy to know, that no matter what people try to do, you can't erase the bonds that are created between a parent and child, blood or not.

So all that to say, No, you are not wrong and you don't have to search for a reason. You love them because you love them and because they are yours in heart. And no one can take that away from you, no one. b's father tries to pollute his mind telling B that I don't love him, see I just left him. I don't write or call him. They try to fill his mind with rubbish, but he knows better than that. He knows that is complete poop!! He told me he will always love me and will be waiting for the day we can be together again. And maybe mom, he says, if you'll let me, when I'm old enough to do what I want, I can come live with you.

How can you not love them? Just because you didn't make them? That isn't everything, though it does make a difference! But, the love is an unbreakable bond that nothing can destroy, so go love those kids!! Sorry so long, but man, this is a fresh subject for me too!!





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