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I went through the exact same thing you are going through. We dated for over 3 years and I knew he had cheated on his previous girlfriend (I've known him through work for 13 years). At first everything was peachy, then we got into an argument and he told me he didn't want a girlfriend, so we were just dating without making a commitment to each other. I found out after several months that he was still seeing his ex-girlfriend (the one he cheated on!) occasionally. I confronted him on it and he denied it each time (there were about 4 times total). I took to doing "drive-bys" when he said he was "Christmas shopping" or was "busy". Her car was at his house a couple of those times. But he still denied it. A few times she came over when I was at his house and he told her to leave each time, so he wasn't treating her very well either. So I decided to stop seeing him, which he didn't like AT ALL, but that wasn't his choice, it was mine. I decided that I didn't want to live my life that way, always wondering what he was doing and who he was with, even if he wasn't doing anything wrong. Always looking for signs that someone had been with him at his house (she liked to leave her ponytail scrunchies on his nightstand or on the floor next to his bed, so I'd know she'd been in bed with him). Checking his phone on the sly, checking his site on a social networking website, etc. It's a lousy way to live and just kills your self esteem.

Now, I don't know if you have seen any signs that your boyfriend has actually cheated on you. There may be nothing, and there may in fact be nothing to find. But as you are finding out, it sucks to have these fears and suspicions. You will never truly know what he's up to and you can drive yourself nuts wondering. Do you have a strong relationship otherwise? Can you sit him down and straight out tell him your fears and ask him how you two can deal with this? I would try not to sound accusing, just let him know that after what he told you, you just have this little voice in the back of your head making you doubt yourself. He may be able to reassure you that even though this happened in the past, he learned from it and has no intention of ever doing it again. Generally I agree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" but I believe it in the context of the current relationship, i.e. he cheated on YOU, you took him back, and now he feels he has blanket license to cheat on you again. He truly may have learned from his past and won't repeat it. But only you know him well enough to gauge if he is being open and honest with you when you talk to him.

Good luck, I hope to hear that you two talked and worked it out, and you can relax and enjoy the relationship!





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