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Relationship Health Message Board

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I'm currently going through a similar situation. My boyfriend used to want to spend every second with me, and spend the night with me every night. He got his own place awhile ago, after moving out of his mom's, and since then he doesn't like to spend the night at my place, and he's more distant. He likes his time with his friends and his alone time, which is completely understandable, but a change for me since I was so used to him practically smothering me trying to spend every waking moment together. My boyfriend lives five minutes away, and he'll tell me how much he misses me but won't do anything about it. I don't understand that.

I also see my friends much less, because they're hard partiers, and I don't like to party as much as they do. I'd say I've changed, just like you have, rather than given up friends just because I have a boyfriend.

I totally see where you're coming from, in saying that it kinda sucks to have to give someone time away from you to miss you or want to see you. I also would like for someone to want to see me all the time period. I have mentioned to my boyfriend that if he doesn't want to hang out late at night after work and we haven't seen each other in awhile, he could at LEAST stop by and say hello. And when I used to tell him that I felt like one of his last priorities, below his friends and such, he got mad and blew it out of proportion.

It seems like a game almost. At first when my boyfriend acted distant and wanted time away from me, it bothered me and I let him know that. But now that it doesn't bother me so much (or if it does, I don't act like it) my boyfriend is wanting more time together. It's weird.

I agree with the other posters that after the honeymoon stage, and the couple is comfortable with each other, one, or both of them start taking the other for granted. That's exactly what I think is going on in my relationship. I try not to be so available to hang out with him, because I don't want him to think that it's always up to him when we see each other.

I think women think too deeply about things.

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