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Relationship Health Message Board


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Me and current boyfriend of, oh say not quite 2 months, had a 4-day break-up and I was not handling it well (I wrote about it here). This all went down at 2.00 am, I went and got my stuff from his house and was back home by 2.30 or so. I subsequently stayed up the entire night (well maybe got 2 hours of sleep before waking for work) and was on the computer being all frantic. Whilst on the computer, I noticed that at 4.00 am, that my ex (two exes ago, the one that really broke my heart last summer and the one I've struggled getting over for a long time) happened to be on-line on this social networking site. I have no idea why I did this, probably because there was nobody I could call or talk to at the time, I sent him a quick message. All I said was, "Are you really on the computer at 4.00 am?". He actually didn't respond until the next day (presumably I missed him before he logged off). His reply was something like, "Yes, I was and in a couple of hours it will be 4.00 am all over again."

I didn't respond to that and subsequently, 3 days later I was back together with my current boyfriend. I have two things on my mind. I didn't tell my current boyfriend that I contacted this ex. Mainly, because at the time we were broken up and it's not like I sent him some desperate message saying I am still in love with him. So, is it necessary to tell him that I did this? Secondly, I'm actually feeling for the first time since my break-up (of 1-year at the end of this month) that I'm over my ex. Part of me wants to be friends with him again. Not necessarily friends that hang out or anything but possibly, just a contact here and there. I mean this without any reference to romance or anything of the kind as he is still with the girl that he dumped me for and I am excited and happy with my new relationship.

I know that the ex last year dumped me and he was a jerk and all that. But I do know that there were some reasons why I was "replaced" that were valid (and I've since rectified all the problems). Again, I'm not interested in my ex (and even looking back at pictures of him, I'm not sad anymore). I guess I know the answer to this, but should I just leave it alone and go on with my life? Or, is it okay to be in contact with an ex that you have a lot in common with? (Note: I have just as much in common with my current boyfriend and even more!). And, do I tell my current boyfriend I did the initial contact even though it was while we were broken up and there was nothing untoward in the message?





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