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Insecure. Yay....
Aug 12, 2008
Seriously. How many times have I posted on here about my current relationship.... Far too many times.

Here we go. My last AND first relationship ever was with a "man" who cheated on me. I took him back. We were on and off for like 8 months total. The relationship finally ended last December. And I've been dating someone since mid-March. I suppose I didn't have that much time to get over the cheating. Here is what I am getting at. I am soooo insecure in my "relationship" right now. We recently decided to be exclusive, but he cannot commit any further than that right now. people have been getting in touch with him that he hasn't talked to in a while. And a lot of them have been girls. The other night we were out and he was drunk and he got a phone call, and he answered it next to me and I KNEW he was talking to a girl. So he gets off the phone and I am like, who was that? And he's like, don't worry about it. And so I finally get it out of him that it was just a girl who is a friend that wants to hang out but she doesn't mean anything to him. I just feel like he is constantly speaking with girls, whether he has the intention of doing anything with them or not. And it makes me feel insecure. Yet he hasn't gotten in touch with me yet this week. But I can't stop him from hanging out with people.

So is this me being insecure or do I have the right to feel this way???
[QUOTE=dodedoo;3686973]Okay so I know that I can't place my old issues of trust with my ex onto a new relationship. But I fear that is what I am doing. Instead of just going with the flow and being comfortable with what IS right now, I am anxious about the future of our relationship. And I hate it. I don't know how to change it.[/QUOTE]

It will be difficult for you, but you really need to commit to changing your outlook on your relationship.

Having been cheated on in a past relationship, I too struggled with trust issues at first with my next boyfriend. I have now been dating him for over 3 years, and our relationship is going great because I made the decision to actively change MY insecurities and trust issues.

Unless your bf has done something to cause you to doubt him, I think first of all you need to sit down and apologize for your lack of trust in him. Next, it may be helpful for you to write a list of your insecurities, and then brainstorm on how you want to change them. Read it multiple times a day if you have to! Think about how you would feel if he was the one questioning you every time you got a phone call. It helped me a lot when I tried to imagine myself in my boyfriend's shoes when I used to have trust problems.

Thankfully, it is still early in your relationship, so now is a great time to change things and build a solid foundation of trust.

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