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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


im confused. my boyfriend and i live together, and we have for like 6 months, yet we have been together longer than that. we arent as serious as marriage, and we dont want to even talk about the topic, although it has been mentioned but just to an extent...but [I]NOT REALLY[/I]. things have been a little off lately. there are several "issues" we have... which is (1) we are broke, neither one of us has money besides to pay our bills, (2) we dont have our space... i dont ever see my friends & he doesnt see his friends.. we probably see our own friends seperately once every 2 weeks. we dont go see our friends because we dont have money... we arent the kind of people who just want to sit around someones house.. we rather go out and have a few drinks...
[SIZE="3"] [B][I]the good thing is at least we have both realized & agreed that we need our own space and now we just need to make sure we get our own time.[/I][/B][/SIZE]

so i know that when couples stress about money- thats probably the worst thing (i think so anyway). money is a hard topic to talk about when it comes to not having any and sharing it. we share it because we dont have any.. if we both had our own source of money & enough of it then i believe there wouldnt be a problem.
so anyways, besides that we are looking for a new home. we dont want to buy a house, but like i said we live together and obviously we continue to want to- our lease is up in october & therefore we are currently looking for another place.
when i mentioned to him, i felt like things were a little off he agreed. we also agreed that it has a huge part with being broke & not having our own space. we dont talk too much into the future because anything is possible and you never know if things just dont work out-[B][I] i mean that saying as we are both aware that anything is possible.[/I][/B]


i did something to him 4 months ago, and he has forgiven me for it, but he will never forget it- which i understand. it hasnt been talked about for probably 2 months at least, and its not brought up often or even at all. but when i mentioned that things were off, and besides money & space being part of the reason he said that [B]he is still in love with me, and he still wants to be with me, [I]but he just hasnt felt the same about me since it happen[/I][/B]. he has told me this before but it was a while back so i thought that things were perfect again... i wouldnt of guessed that he still thought about it because to me, it seems like we have been happier than we have been before... besides the money/space issue.. so please dont get me wrong, we are happy, and obviously he doesnt think about it too much because this wasnt even brought up until we realized that things are a little stressed.

[B]i'm just curious to know...[/B] why hasnt he mentioned this before? my guess is that he randomly thinks about it, and then when he doesnt think about it he feels like things are good?
so now im just trying to figure out, how can i handle this? we figured out the whole money & space thing, so thats not what im asking about. what im asking about is how can i make him feel better about what happen?
i know that if things dont work its not meant to be.. i can be perfectly happy without a boyfriend. my friend said to not worry about how he feels and just worry about myself, but [I]i care about him, i want him to be happy and i dont want him to feel this way.[/I]

[I]just to mention[/I], things in our relationship arent perfect. relationships arent going to be perfect- we have just now realized there are a few things that we need to make right. i am happy with him, and he is happy with me. maybe i am thinking about everything and digging to far into it (thats my worst problem EVER), and i know for a fact if we didnt want to be with eachother, we wouldnt. one of us would have said something if this relationship isnt what we want... like i said if its not meant to be with him, then we are both understanding and accepting. im just asking for any wise opinions or advice. :p

*sorry its so long.





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