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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hello Everyone,

I have been with my boyfriend for going on two years. It is by far my longest relationship. A little background information: I used to be what I can best describe as a "serial dater" - I would date a man for a few months and the minute things started to get boring or he didn't live up to my almost unattainable standards, I cut and run. There was no such thing as working through a problem. When the going got tough, I just left the relationship and moved onto the next person. Until...

I met my current boyfriend. At first, I didn't even think I liked him. I thought he was quiet and boring the first two or three times we talked on the phone and our first date was full of awkward silences. Something told me not to give up on him though and sure enough, our next date was AMAZING. After some time dating, I knew he was different than all the others. He absolutely adored me and I adored him. We fell in love with each other.

Here's my problem: I've never been with someone long enough for the inital "adrenaline rush" to wear off and I don't know what to do with it. I enjoy being with my boyfriend very much. He is my best friend. He knows things about me that no other person on this planet knows, but it's different than it was when we got together.

He talks about me to everyone he works with, all his friends, his family, literally everyone. They all tell me that he does and how crazy he is about me. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time, just like he did when we first met. He does nice things for me and takes me nice places. He is kind and caring. He is always kissing me or putting his arm around me or doing something to show his affection for me. He has adorable nicknames for me that have come out of years together and I love every bit of it, but I STILL feel like the new has worn off on his end and that it is different for him.

I feel like there is a routine that we have that rarely changes. We talk on the phone, we spend time together in person, occassionally we will go places with friends or go somewhere special, but it just feels routine. We have never had sex, but we do occasionally "mess around," for lack of better terminology. And even that feels boring and routine. The kisses are the some. The touches are the same. The way he holds me is the same.

It's like I know what he is going to do before he does it and vice versa. I know what he is going to say before he says it and most of the time I know what he is thinking without him even telling me. Most people would die for that type of communication and to know and understand that much about their boyfriend, so I don't know what is wrong with me!

It's really frustrating me to no end. What can I do? Is this normal? Is this telling me that it is time to break up or is this just something new I've never experienced because I only date most men for such a short period of time? Any advice or insight would be so greatly appreciated. PLEASE HELP! I love my boyfriend and want to be with him for a long time. I'm committed to fixing this on my end, but don't know where to start.





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