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Relationship Health Message Board

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You're probably not a bad boyfriend, just maybe not the right boyfriend for her. If you have someone who is really needy (perhaps insecure?), someone like yourself who is more aloof just may not be the right match. Either you are or you are not the kind of guy who is going to hold hands and pay her the level of attention she wants/needs.

The only thing you can change is you, and if you know that she needs this to be happy, if you want it to work [B]you have to want [/B]to change these behaviors. If you are really, really in love with her, then it shouldn't be that hard to do.

Which leads to the question: Are you REALLY that into her? Or are you just into the idea of her or someone, period?

It sounds like she's either in tune with the possibility that maybe you're not right for each other, or perhaps just insecure and in need of reassurance. If you really do love her, then make the effort to build up her confidence in you, the relationship, and herself. Maybe then, she'll be more comfortable giving you some space.
Hmmmm I am going to disagree with most of the post here and say I think she is being WAY too demanding. I can see her complaining if she is talking to you in a resturant and you are looking around AND not hearing her as she is talking. (I tend to do this when the conversation is boring me).....BUT I also have trouble with constant eye contact and I do NOT look someone in the eye the whole sentence....I will glance their way many times but I don't hold the contact. I myself have noticed this....and MY BOSS actually focused in on it by saying to me...."You are not listening to me." I was. I heard and comprehended everything he said, and could even repeat it back to him but I don't feel I should have to LOOK at him to HEAR him!

As far as your G/F expecting you to hold her hand and show more affection.......I have never really understood that kind of affection either. WHY hold hands? So everyone will know you are together? Thats immature. If I had a partner who wanted to sit on the couch and watch tv and touch all night I would run away so fast that he wouldn't know what happened! I have just got to have my space! I think this is what you are saying....that this isn't you! For her to ask for these things and expect you to change how you are.....hmmmmm is it the same affection if you have to remind someone to take your hand? I don't think so, and really don't know why she would want it if she HAD to ask for it.

I honestly think your G/F is asking for things that no one can really give all the time. It would be smothering. It sounds like she is very insecure and unless you want a life with someone who will possibly never give you your space I would run for the hills!

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