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The guy I'm currently seeing, well talking to, hanging out with, whatever, was the guy I lost my virginity to. We were madly in love but he had to go away for a few months and I ended up cheating on him by making out with someone else. I broke up with him because I figured if I cheated on someone, it's not meant to be. I was 18 at the time and a freshman in college.

Well, 6 years later we ran into each other (in January of this year) and still had a crazy bond/chemistry, talked for hours and caught up. He said he had a child with his current girlfriend and we said goodbye.

Then he contacted me on Myspace and from there we began hanging out and eventually had sex. I kept saying, I cannot do this and I stopped it. We continued to hang out and NOT have sex. He wouldn't break up with her because they had the child and they lived together, he said it had to be a process so things wouldn't get out of hand since they had a child together. He wanted me to wait for him while he went through this process. He told me that he would give her an ultimatum and if she didn't fix things then he would have to leave her.

Well, I didn't like being the "other woman" so I told him I couldn't talk to him anymore but he begged me to stay. I deleted his number and when he called or texted I would tell him to leave me alone. We stopped talking the VERY end of February. I moved in March and it turns out that he and his girlfriend moved there also end of May. He and I began hanging out again beginning of July. He and his girlfriend have broken up but he still lives with her and their child. He wouldn't tell me where he lived for fear that I would just show up to his house and wild out or something.

When she's there, he's not. If she sleeps there, he sleeps somewhere else. I just found out today that she still doesn't know that he cheated on her. Also, they broke up beginning/mid June. Had moved in very end of May and were still having sex. Had a big fight apparently and broke up. Yet all this time in between seeing him in January/February then in July he had been asking me to hang out! He's afraid to tell her that he cheated on her for fear that she will take his child from him and not allow joint custody. Also, he's been going through a lot recently because his dad was homeless and lost in another state and has dementia.

I love him, but I'm so scared. So many red flags, what do I do?
[QUOTE=dryNscaly;3712253]. He and his girlfriend have broken up but he still lives with her and their child. He wouldn't tell me where he lived for fear that I would just show up to his house and wild out or something.


Honey, this is the oldest line in the book. He hasn't told you where he lives because he doesn't want you finding out that they aren't as broken up and he wants you to believe. Where does he sleep when she's "home?" And why can't he move there permanently? Are you sleeping there with him? If not, what do you have besides his word as proof that he's really not still sleeping in her bed? And why does he ever have to tell her he cheated on her with you? Especially if she can use it to keep his child away from him. So, he's pulling this "I can't leave until I come clean about cheating, but I can't ever come clean because she'll use it against me." So he has a nice excuse to keep you in limbo indefinitely.

You are still the other woman. He needs to consult a family law attorney and get his rights regarding his child protected and move out and get on with his life IF that's really what he wants to do, but I'm not convinced it is. IN the meantime, you are squandering your youth on someone who is not free to be yours, and possibly missing out on a great guy who you won't have to share and who wants to be all yours and no one else's.

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