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Re: Forbidden Love
Sep 6, 2008
This wasn't just an isolated incident that happened because he was drinking and you hit him first. He has been throwing things in your face for months, things that were none of his business. He has been harboring resentment and anger towards you for months and was verbally assaulting you the night this happened. I hate to say it, but I think he probably would have hit you regardless of whether or not you hit him. Maybe not that night, but at some point because he wasn't dealing with his feelings. He was blaming them on you. Does that make sense?

You are not responsible for his (or anyone else's) feelings. You were broken up and you acted in a manner that was right for you. What you did had nothing to do with him. He needed to accept that and didn't therefore your reunion was doomed from start.

So what has changed that makes you believe this will work again? He said he was sorry? So what! He has anger issues that need to be worked out. I know you love him, but love is not enough in a case like this. Yes, I know you hit him first. Would you have hit him if he wasn't verbally berating you? No, you wouldn't have. Does it make it right that you hit him? Absolutely not, but that's not the point. He had been fueling this for months.

If I were your mother I would go ballistic too. I've been with men like this and I know from experience that "sorry" doesn't fix it. He needs help. If I were you, I would tell him that you won't even think about a relationship with him unless he seeks counselling for his anger. You will find out real quick how much you mean to him in that case. If he really loves you and is truly sorry he will do what it takes to get you back and right this wrong. It takes a strong and determined man to do that and many men fitting your "boyfriend's" mold don't have it in them. They would rather blame you or a situation then admit fault. If he doesn't think he has a problem or sees it as a one time thing then you bet the farm it will happen again. And when it happens again he will be sorry and they cycle will repeat. Abuse is a cycle. It's good....the tension builds....the blowup happens....it's good....etc.

Anyway, that's just my $.02 from my own experience. :angel:





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