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[QUOTE=dma11663;3717506]I know but do you understand how this is eating at me and I can't say anything for another week? it is limbo...............limbo stinks. I am complainig and I'm so sorry.[/QUOTE]

No, it's totally ok to vent. I understand you feel kind of in limbo because you haven't had the conversation with him yet. But it sort of sounds to me like you haven't made the decision in your own mind quite yet, and that's where the danger lies. You don't have to tell him in order for you to decide that you're done and that it's over and that he had no right treating you that way and that you won't take it anymore. Even though you can't actually TELL him for another week, you can still pack it up in your mind and be done with it. The trick is to get to a point where you aren't asking questions like "what kind of person does that? Who says that? Why would he, why does he.... etc etc etc." Those questions have no answer that will satisfy you or make any sense out of it all anyway. So work toward getting to a mental place where you no longer feel the need to ask these questions. It's just who he's choosing to be, and you cant change it, and it's not working for you and you want, need and deserve better, and that's all you need to know.
[QUOTE=dma11663;3725844]I am just angry and fed up. I haven't seen him in quite some time. You think he would even say hey, are you free on Sat. or Sun. we can get together/ Not even a thought.

I told him oh..that's nice now your brother in law is in town today an dyou can meet up with him for lunch.....would you even think of coming to meet me for lunch?

I think we are both done....we are just fed up and done.

Some day he will love someone really love someone enough to know that you are not more of a man by screaming and yelling and cursing and cutting and hurting someone.....that in most eyes makes him an idiot.

In my eyes, he is just an angry man.....

and he doesn't know how to love anyone.....

except himself and he will only worry about him.

I can guarantee you he didn't even think about me

Is this love...I think not.

I am sick of him. I told him that I am done. I told him as the phone kept rinigng DOn't call me again. I am done. You hurt me and that is the last time. You can't do this anymore.

He doesn't wat to be with me, I know it.

He just needs someone else but it is hard to let go of somene, I understand.

I am not giving him 6 mins. of my time.

I hate him right now. He really said awful, awful things. Called me F_ _ _ O.
I said, what......he said yes, that is what I said you want me to spell it out for you. Nice eh?[/QUOTE]

Good morning dma....this is distressing to hear. You are stronger now, but please know that something is looming in your heart and mind, like you are not finished. Please, don't be jealous of who this man gives his time and energy to. He will never give you the time and energy you deserve and the way you want and desire it. You are seeing and hearing what he is doing with and for others and longing for it to be you. He will never treat you like that, he hasn't in the past and he wont in the future. You deserve more than his nasty stale crumbs. Even his crumbs aren't tasty! You need to tell yourself the truth about this guy, not even as a friend would I want this type of person around me, or my daughter's.

We all need friends and a good, healthy support system. I am not denying your real need here, I just want you to get your needs met somewhere else, with other people. If you knew I was a thief and a robber would you invite me to hold your purse while you went to the bathroom? Please don't entrust your heart and emotions to a man who is known, by you, to tear your heart apart. He can't be trusted with your heart and soul. He has done great damage to you so far. Hopefully, you are going to help this man grow up by walking away and never speaking to him again, if he can take ownership of his behavior and problems and acknowledge who he is and has been, that is a long shot. Only he can do this, no one can do this for him. No one can change him, no one.

Since this is suppose to be over right now.....what are you up to? Are you getting out, meeting people, letting your friends know you are available to hang out with them? I hope you are able let go of this relationship and move on with your life, I know you will need time to grieve your loss here, but remember to let some light in on this, I mean get out also. Please don't let this loss, your grief and sorrow to consume you (especially in a way that you focus too much on him), I am hoping that this relationship doesn't rob you anymore of your time and energy, you have given enough. Enough. Be free and live, let the sunshine in. I am hoping for healthy, happy, mutual friendship(s) for you.....let us know how you are really doing, at this time.....I am thinking about you, I have made my own mistakes in relationships, you are so not alone in this.....G

It is hard to let go of someone, very hard. I agree with you.....this is where you need to grieve your loss, put him to rest in your mind, bury him, put the flowers on the grave, you did your best, gave your all and now you have nothing left. Cut him off and out of your life, forever.

(Some day he will love someone really love someone enough to know that you are not more of a man by screaming and yelling and cursing and cutting and hurting someone.....)

As per this last paragraph: Did he cut you? This is very violent behavior, did you press charges? That is against the law! You cannot allow this person in your life, house, car, around your mother......nothing. He should have been reported to the proper authorities if he cut you. Everything else is just as bad.





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