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Hi, thanks all for your words - i guess i did leave out huge chunks when i wrote this i was so confused within myself my thoughts were so up and down.

I married Phil we were passionately in love and now i couldn't imagine life without him, when i did meet Phil i was 'over' Mitch. my husband and i have an awesome marriage, commitment to each other and trust one another, we talk about everything (i guess except this) and have an excellent sex life. He does get jealous sometimes, but at the same time wants to trust me hence he let me catch up with an ex boyfriend. In regards to the dreams that i had Phil was pretty upset but we talked through it and after discussing it with him and me telling him that i didn't have any feelings for Mitch (which i beleived i didn't) i stopped having the dreams.

The first time Mitch and i dated he was never around and always smoking pot, he then cheated on me. I broke it off because he was always with his mates and not commited - but what commitment could i ask for at 14? About a year later we started seeing each other again this time the relationship was the other way around he was really into me, i never gave him a reason for breaking up with him the 2nd time, even as i write this i can't remember why i did.

I think as you all have posted that seeing Mitch just bought up these feelings, after that email conversation we haven't spoken or messaged since and the feelings that had come up have started to slowly dissappear. You know i think it might have been me thinking 'what if' and 'i wonder'. I guess also he has changed so much since we dated, he is such a better person now. When we met up last week he actually said to me that he'd changed not long after we broke up but it was too late he'd already 'lost' me as a girlfriend.

i truly love Phil and i value the commitments and promises we made in our vows 5 years ago. i know there is no good in having affairs and i wouldn't want to hurt Phil like that. Hmmm i don't know if i should tell him about these feelings he'll be pretty angry that i didn't tell him earlier that i lied to him. I have lied to Phil once before and we almost seperated this was before we were engaged, i lied about talking to a guy alot at work.

You're probably thinking this 23 year old girl has no idea what she's thinking or doing and you know what i don't. But thats ok cos i have more mature people giving me some words of encouragement to help me stay on track and value what i have a loving, devoted passionate husband.

Confusing much - YES

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