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Relationship Health Message Board


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Re: Loving two men
Sep 14, 2008
I can't offer any useful advice but I will just say that I have been in that situation and anyone that says that you cannot love two people at one time just simply has not ever experienced it! I too would have said that you can't love two people at once before it actually happened in my life! That is why it is so important to not let yourself get involved with a person of the opposite sex when you are in a marriage or a committed relationship! That is why I am soooo opposed to opposite sex friendships! It happens out of nowhere and suddenly you are being torn into two directions not knowing what to do...either choice will cause great pain. It causes pain to many people too...not just to you! All you can do it make the choice and live with the choice that you make!:(

This may be a little bit of advice...since you are in a relationship and it's working for you...you may want to realize that being friends with someone and being in a relationship with someone are two different things. You may chose the friend and realize that he's a good friend but not a good boyfriend. Sometimes you don't know what you go till it's gone!
Re: Loving two men
Sep 14, 2008
[QUOTE=BeaTrade;3727758]I can't offer any useful advice but I will just say that I have been in that situation and anyone that says that you cannot love two people at one time just simply has not ever experienced it! I too would have said that you can't love two people at once before it actually happened in my life! That is why it is so important to not let yourself get involved with a person of the opposite sex when you are in a marriage or a committed relationship! That is why I am soooo opposed to opposite sex friendships! It happens out of nowhere and suddenly you are being torn into two directions not knowing what to do...either choice will cause great pain. It causes pain to many people too...not just to you! All you can do it make the choice and live with the choice that you make!:(

This may be a little bit of advice...since you are in a relationship and it's working for you...you may want to realize that being friends with someone and being in a relationship with someone are two different things. You may chose the friend and realize that he's a good friend but not a good boyfriend. Sometimes you don't know what you go till it's gone![/QUOTE]

I agree with Beatrade, but I will go a little further. Keep your current boy-friend. I suppose boh men know about each other. Your friend was being frank when he told you he had feelings for you, but if he knew about your boyfriend, I think it would have been fairer of him to have kept his feelings hidden. Unwittingly or not, he caused some disturbance in your life, and this makes me look at him with ... some suspicion, no, with some reservation. Also, it is a question of stability: your boyfriend sounds stabler than your friend. You may be young now, and a certain "irresponsibilty" may appeal to you, but as you age, you will need more and more stability, if you see what I mean. You may even change your mind about having kids. As they put it, one bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I don't know you, but it seems to me that you would rather be with someone than literally alone. Anyway, the choice is yours, and I think you can only have one of them in the long run.





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