It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hi everybody. A few weeks ago I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. We broke up and I've spent the last few weeks trying to get my life back together, to get over her and to just take care of myself. However, I'm finding it difficult to move on because of the behavior I've been seeing in a lot of people lately. It would be one thing if it was just my girlfriend who cheated on me, because then I could say that what she did was completely wrong and the next person hopefully won't do that. But I've recently found out that my best friend's girlfriend cheated on him, my girl friend's boyfriend cheated on her, and a friend of mine made a move on my best friend's girlfriend over the summer while they were still together (and he had his own girlfriend).

Ok, I know I did a terrible job of explaining that, but it seems like infidelity is everywhere I look right now. I, myself, have made out with two girls in the past who had boyfriends at the time, and I hate myself for it. I am very disgusted with people right now, including myself. I am disgusted with human nature and temptation. I feel like people cannot be trusted, and I wonder how love could possibly survive in a world like this.

When my girlfriend cheated on me, it was a spontaneous thing that happened between her and a friend. She said that she had never done anything like that with anyone else, and it was something that just happened very quickly. It was the same story with my friends who were betrayed. I just hate that people can be so susceptible to something like that. I hate that they can make such unforgivable mistakes just because they have too much to drink or they have a moment of weakness. I hate that someone could knowingly and willingly sleep with a guy or a girl who has a boyfriend, interfering with the intimate bond that they share and destroying the love and the trust that they have for one another. It makes me absolutely sick.

And there's the major problem. I can't move on because I feel like anyone is capable of betraying me the same way that my girlfriend betrayed me. I wonder whether anyone can really be trusted to do the right thing anymore. If my girlfriend, who I knew inside and out, who I loved and trusted so deeply, was capable of doing something like that to me, it just seems like it could happen just as easily with any other girl in the world.

I am disappointed and disgusted with people right now. I hate everyone right now. Human nature seems to be a very ugly thing.
I had to comment on this because I had this exact conversation with my friends this week. I work in the financial industry, and my job entails a lot of schmoozing, mainly including alcohol at every meeting with clients (I'm talking 4-5 x per week minimum during and after work). Anyway, I have had 6 married guys (all with children, ages 30-60, I am 25) in the last month try to kiss me. I was in new york on a business trip and a married client there (with one child and one on the way) tried to kiss me, to which I said, "aren't you married?" and he got a little mad and said "whats that supposed to mean?".

I was looking at wedding rings with my sister (her and her bf are close to getting engaged) and I was trying someone and the clerk asked if I had a boyfriend...I joked, "all 6 of my boyfriends are married!"...we kind of laughed it off, but I felt disgusted that yes, in fact, all 6 men who blatantly hit on me in the past month ARE married.

In my industry (dominated by men), I believe many of the people get married for status and because its the thing to do. Regardless, because Its been 6 in the last month and I started a new job where I am expected to schmooze more than my last one, I am constantly exposed to a population of married people who wouldn't understand the concept of commitment if it kicked them in the a$$. And I have to admit, in the last 3 weeks I have become quite bitter about relationships. I am at the point that I am looking for purely a sexual partner because I don't believe in emotionally intimate and committed relationships.

My parents live in the quite suburbs and I live in an urban city, highly populated by professionals who are out late every night of the week. My mom drove by a lounge one night and was disgusted by all the men in their 30's and 40's who most likely have families out clubbing or schmoozing. I would be pissed if thats they way my life turned out and I was the one at home with the kids all the time too. but unfortunately, its commonplace in the professional world.

I have never been cheated on, and I have never cheated, and the thought disgusts me. However, it disgusts me less than it used to, and I think that its because I am exposed to it so much that I am becoming numb and expect it now. Its not the 'abnormal' anymore.

I will never date a guy in my industry for this reason (actually I know of 2 out of the hundreds that would never cheat as far as I could tell, so I guess there's a glimmer of hope), but I also find it hard to date outside my industry because a lot of partners would find it difficult to be with someone who works as much as I do, and about half of that work is spent at the bar with men. Partners are highly discouraged to join in.

anyway...i totally get you....like I said I am looking for a sexual partner with no expectations, and if goes beyond those low expectations, I will be absolutely floored. But I have officially lost hope.
[QUOTE=plaxmax34;3735657]Hi everybody. A few weeks ago I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. We broke up and I've spent the last few weeks trying to get my life back together, to get over her and to just take care of myself. However, I'm finding it difficult to move on because of the behavior I've been seeing in a lot of people lately. It would be one thing if it was just my girlfriend who cheated on me, because then I could say that what she did was completely wrong and the next person hopefully won't do that. But I've recently found out that my best friend's girlfriend cheated on him, my girl friend's boyfriend cheated on her, and a friend of mine made a move on my best friend's girlfriend over the summer while they were still together (and he had his own girlfriend).

Ok, I know I did a terrible job of explaining that, but it seems like infidelity is everywhere I look right now. I, myself, have made out with two girls in the past who had boyfriends at the time, and I hate myself for it. I am very disgusted with people right now, including myself. I am disgusted with human nature and temptation. I feel like people cannot be trusted, and I wonder how love could possibly survive in a world like this.

When my girlfriend cheated on me, it was a spontaneous thing that happened between her and a friend. She said that she had never done anything like that with anyone else, and it was something that just happened very quickly. It was the same story with my friends who were betrayed. I just hate that people can be so susceptible to something like that. I hate that they can make such unforgivable mistakes just because they have too much to drink or they have a moment of weakness. I hate that someone could knowingly and willingly sleep with a guy or a girl who has a boyfriend, interfering with the intimate bond that they share and destroying the love and the trust that they have for one another. It makes me absolutely sick.

And there's the major problem. I can't move on because I feel like anyone is capable of betraying me the same way that my girlfriend betrayed me. I wonder whether anyone can really be trusted to do the right thing anymore. If my girlfriend, who I knew inside and out, who I loved and trusted so deeply, was capable of doing something like that to me, it just seems like it could happen just as easily with any other girl in the world.

I am disappointed and disgusted with people right now. I hate everyone right now. Human nature seems to be a very ugly thing.[/QUOTE]

Hey plax, how old are you?

You seem to be taking this really hard. The sad thing is, I totally agree with you. I've been cheated on in the past. I know friends who have. Its really sickening. It can make someone really down on relationships. In my case, it can also make you way TOO cautious in future relationships, so that you can end up ruining them by mistrusting a person when they have done nothing wrong. I suppose I am in the same boat as you. And I wonder if i'll ever be in a relationship where I can truly trust someone again. I suppose you can only hope for the best and know that while it happens frequently, everyone is not like that.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:53 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!