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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I read something on one of those internet news sites, a very reputable one, that studies show that there is something in the brain, I wish I could remember more, but there actually is a cheating gene. Just like some people are genetically predisposed to bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, those chemical, genetic abnormalities run in families, and there are some people who are genetically hardwired to want to be sexual with many different people. I do believe there are some people who just don't have it in them to be faithful. Most times, it is just a choice to not be faithful, but on rare occasions, I do think some people are just hardwired to be unfaithful.

Though this is cold comfort if you've been cheated on, I'm sure. I must say, lately I've taken a very ver, cynical view of love. I was ralking my dog the other night and he doesn't do very well with other dogs, and he was getting ready to do his business, and some guy came through the back gate of the apartment complex property and let his dog, which was off leash, a clear violation of the complex pet rules, he let his dog bound over to my dog, and of course my dog freaked out, pulling on his his leash, barking his head off, and the guy mumbled a feeble "sorry" and I was just so mad i didn't even care. I felt like someone had just beat me up afterward. I've gotten to the point where just being around other people physically hurts sometimes. And in our society where we all want to be our own little islands, and we all work so hard at being the one who cares the least, and not taking any responsibility for how we make other people feel, I just don't think what our society has become is very conducive at all to healthy, nurturing, loving, caring monogamous relationships. Love is all about giving, all about putting the other person first, all about making room in your life for someone else, all about compromise and sacrifice, things no one wants to to do these days, especially young men. You should see the comments young men have been making over at the Sex and the City site on a popular movie web site. The hatred young men have for women who don't look and act like Fox, Angelina Jolie's character in Wanted, these days is shocking.

I agree, it's something I"ve been thinking a lot abot lately, too. With the divorce rate the way it is, and with observing the marriages that I know in real life, I have a friend who doesn't agree with her husband politically and can't speak her mind about the upcoming election in her own home. she's always saying how her husband would flip if he heard her say this or that. And I think to myself, is that what marriage really is? Working ovetime to pretend, or to hide yourself away from your husband? I for one could never live that way. I think love is a great thing. And I think love actually is THE thing. No matter what we accomplish in life, the only thing that matters is the family we raised and the love we gave and earned, and if you have none of that, it's kind of like, well, what am I even here for? But love, real love, is so rare, it only happens to, I'd guess maybe 20 to 25% of us. It's one of life's real cruelties, that the most significant thing in life, the one thing that makes us most human, the one thing that makes life most worth living and makes us feel the most alive, the one thing we all burn for and want more than anything, is the one thing that requires the cooperation of another person's free will, the one thing we can't control, and is the one thing that is so rare and impossible.





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