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Don't know to what detail to go into on a "post" but here goes... After almost seven years of dating, my boyfriend broke up with me for my insecurities (we have broken up three times before for short periods - same reason).

At 44 years old - when will I get it? I don't think I'm "enough."

We went out Friday to listen to music and dance - having a great time, when an attractive lady walks past me and to the other side of my boyfriend. She stands arm-to-arm with my boyfriend, talking within inches of each other's face (live music). (There are plenty of other places she could be standing - why didn't she stand next to me?) They are laughing, etc. when a man walks up next to her, like, hey - so she introduces him, her husband, to my boyfriend and then I get introduced to both of them. She continues standing arm-to-arm with my boyfriend and her husband is standing across the table from me. After 15 or so minutes, I say to my boyfriend that I'll find somewhere else to sit - FIRST BAD REACTION. After about 5 minutes he tracks me down and asks if I want him to ask them to leave our table -- YES, please. So, he begrudgingly does it and after a few rubs on each other's arms (my boyfriend and this lady) her and her husband leave our table. Later I made a comment that she was on the dance floor and my boyfriend said, yes, when you went to the bathroom I called her over and we visited again. Nice...

So, we go back to having a great time, when another lady walks past me and to the other side of my boyfriend. She stands arm-to-arm with my boyfriend talking within inches of each other's face (live music). (Again, there are plenty of other places she could be standing - why didn't she stand next to me?) They are laughing, etc. her guy is already there and standing across the table from me. When the band takes a break I hear a part of their conversation - my boyfriend is asking her how long they've been dating - she says, "we aren't dating , we just met two weeks ago. I divorced in May and am playing the field." So, when they are about to leave, I see her writing on a napkin and hand it to my boyfriend, he looks at it and places it in his pocket. After they left, I asked to see it. Low and behold, it was HER name, HER e-mail address, and I guess it was also HER phone number. He claims he thought it was the guy's information!

Now, we leave, and I am livid - SECOND BAD REACTION! My boyfriend gets so angry saying we can never have a good time because of my insecurities - that I'm crazy and he cannot stand me and wants me out of his life forever! Now, today...

So, hindsight thinking, yes, I'm insecure -- did I make too much out of his "friendliness" (he is a very outgoing person). Why he wouldn't have offered his seat to me saying something like, why don't you girls chat or something... I get all of my "adoration" from him and only him, maybe he needs it from the attention from other women? Is that okay?

I feel like such a big loser -- I love this guy and I KNOW he loves(d) me -- he adores me, we spend lots of time in the evenings and weekends together, we have so much in common, he is very touchy/feely with me -- and yet, when I see him enjoying another woman's company (touching, laughing, inches from each other's face) - because it feels like they are being "intimate" I get into the fight or flight mode - feel like a mama grizzly bear protecting her cubs. My entire body has a physical reaction.

Well, it's too late now - he never wants to see me, e-mail me, nothing ever again. First, it hurts so much to think he HATES me when we also had so much good stuff. Second, like a dumped adolescent, I don't want him to meet anyone else, etc. -- grow up, right? I should wish him the best and that he finds someone who doesn't mind his "friendliness."

Sorry this is so long - probably more details than necessary, plus, you're not hearing his side, but please help this lost one. This isn't just going to stop without "fixing" it! Everyone has different opinions, please share yours.
[QUOTE=helpforlostone;3766434]
So, when they are about to leave, I see her writing on a napkin and hand it to my boyfriend, he looks at it and places it in his pocket. After they left, I asked to see it. Low and behold, it was HER name, HER e-mail address, and I guess it was also HER phone number. He claims he thought it was the guy's information![/QUOTE]

I'm sorry, but this example you gave was just plain rude on his part...To take another woman's number in front of you. It's almost like he's trying to act like some type of rico suave around you. I know you said he's outgoing, but can't he tone it down a bit? I think it goes without saying that this type of thing would offend almost any woman, including me.


[QUOTE]
I feel like such a big loser -- I love this guy and I KNOW he loves(d) me -- he adores me, we spend lots of time in the evenings and weekends together, we have so much in common, he is very touchy/feely with me -- and yet, when I see him enjoying another woman's company (touching, laughing, inches from each other's face) - because it feels like they are being "intimate" I get into the fight or flight mode - feel like a mama grizzly bear protecting her cubs. My entire body has a physical reaction.[/QUOTE]

You probably get these type of reactions because you care so much about him. Did you have these same type of reactions with previous relationships?

[QUOTE]
Well, it's too late now - he never wants to see me, e-mail me, nothing ever again. [/QUOTE]

Is it really "too late"? Do you think you can still save the relationship? If you really feel like he's the "one", then maybe you should call him and really apologize, or send him flowers or something? What if you proposed couples counseling to where you could get your true feelings out on the table in a non threatening way where someone who really knows about relationships, moderates things. I'm not suggesting by any means that this all your fault. In fact, I think he's acted like a prune in some of these examples. However, if your really feel like he's "the one", then it's worth trying to save the relationship. Once in counseling, you could work on issues re: [B][U]both[/U][/B] sides....Your insecurity and his flamboyance with other women.

Take care, and best of luck to you with this.....I know it's really tough. If you didn't care so much, it would be easy.

Regards,

Ex
Why are you doing this to yourself? Your boyfriend is disrespectful and you should get away from him. Taking another woman's phone number in front of you shows that he has no respect for you.





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