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[FONT="Verdana"]Thanks for all the replies. I was also thinking along the lines of her getting pregnant on purpose (not that I am making any excuses for him - he had a responsibility and he shouldn't have been there in the first place) :mad:

I am having most difficulty dealing with the baby issue, and this is where I will need most counselling - I think he tried to bury his head in the sand and hoped it would all go away but these things never do:confused:

It would easy to walk away if I was single or the kids were older but I do need to consider how a break up would affect them and is it worth beaking up a 15 year marriage because he took a course of action that he now knows didn't solve anything by being with the other woman but just made him feel worse. Also I know that if things don't work out and we can't resolve the issues I will always be able to say that I tried and if it does we will hopefully be stronger as a couple and family.

Most people will think I am a fool and 10 years ago I probably would have agreed with them. As I have gotten older I have learned to see the bigger picture and deal with issues in a different way than when I was younger, I don't act on impulse and think things through - too much sometimes:(

Thanks for listening, I feel you are all my anonymous counsellors until my next appointment comes through with relate. :) xx
My heart goes out to you. You got big decisions to make. I'm glad your not alone. good to see your going to counselling on a pro level. It may or may not help your marriage. but I'm sure you get benefit from it.
My hubby cheated on me .. Yes i did forgive him. I must say that if it wasn't for counselling. I would not have stuck around.
You on the other hand. your husband has now a child from this affair. I sure hope you have been to the doctors and got tested for disease's .. this shows he did have unprotected sex. i worry for your health too.
What his done is cruel to both you and your kids.
I hope your getting through the days OK.. glad we're here for you. you are not alone.
Thanks for all your concerns and advice. You are helping me through this, we are still waiting for our next appointment at relate and if it hadn't been for you guys I think I would have gone mad!

I am finding it easier to discuss the situation without getting all emotional and ending up in tears as time is going on. I am worried about bumping into her and feel sick everytime I think of that. I have 'logical' conversations in my head about what I will say (I want to appear sophisticated & mature!:cool:) but fear I will be an angry, emotional wreck:o.

The relationship lasted about 8 weeks and ended over 18 months ago but I have only just found out about it. Working dates out the baby would have been born last Nov/Dec and will be coming up to his 1st birthday. Hubby carried his secret with him without discussing it with anyone which was causing him problems (somethings that was going on with his health make sense now) He has said it was a relief that it has all come out and we can deal with it together. I just wish he could have been upfront with me at the time.:(

I have an appointment at the docs, I will ask for full std test, inc herpes, although he said he had test as soon as he had stopped sleeping with her and everything was clear.

It is difficult time, I try not to think about it all the time but it won't go out of my head at the moment. He knows this is the one and only chance he will get. I won't be taken for a fool again:mad:

He does seem to genuinly regret of being unfaithful and hurting me so much. He has said that having an affair didn't make him feel good in any long term way and didn't make the reasons he went there in the first place to go away. We have talked about the reasons and I do realise that I have to take some responsibilty as well and work through them.

We was making plans for next years holiday (all booked and nearly paid for!) and what we was going to do to the house before all this came to light so I do feel that we have a future together. Time will tell.

Again, thanks for listening and giving me the benefit of your experiences. Will let you know how it goes at the next relate session and if anything happens.:)

Take care


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