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Divorce liquidation varies by state. Your state's guidelines will determine how assets are divided. Most states are 50/50...Your attorney will know all the ins and outs.

Essentially, you get half of all the assets values at the time of your divorce. I doubt that the length of time has anything to do with it. For example, whatever your house is worth at the time you split, you get half....Not how much it went up in value over 4 years. All the assets, including his retirement is treated the same. Now, if your attorney is telling you something differently, then he would know.

Personally, I would get a fairly aggressive attorney that will fight for you....Not fight so hard that you bite your nose off despite your face, but hard enough to get what's rightfully yours. Surprisingly, many attorneys are pretty passive and just care about billable hours.

So, back to the assets, you get half of the house's value (minus the debt), half of all the house contents, half of your vehicles value, half of the retirement, half of savings, and so on. Now, when you start to divide things, people will often "trade" one asset for another. For example, if one gets the more valuable car (of the two), then the other gets something in return to balance it out. At the end of all the dividing, each party should get 50%. He probably wants to keep the house and will need the space for his kids, so he'll have to buy you out. This lump sum of cash could be "saved" via some form of savings / investment plan.

One of the tricks divorcing spouses use is to hide assets, or make them disappear....Primarily liquid assets such as cash, savings, and etc. So, keep an eye on things and get copies of recent statements to verify where $ has gone and etc. If he's been divorced before, then he knows what he's doing.

Re: Alimony, yes, if you recently got a job, then you wouldn't be eligible for alimony. Even if you hadn't gotten a job, the minute you do (or re-marry), the alimony stops, so this isn't a a big deal. You'll need the benefits that come with the job anyway.

[quote]

My biggest fear right now is my MS and what MIGHT happen to me and how Ill handle it if it does...I have no children, no husband and no one to "take care of me'...[/quote]

I can certainly understand your feeling and you are justified in feeling this way....It's only natural. I think he's probably banking on this as to why he's doing some of the things he's doing, including many of his comments.

You have to remember that this goes [B][U]both ways[/U][/B]. Who says he's mr. wife magnet? Does he really think he can find a third wife easily....Good luck with that "sell" bucko! Many get divorced these days and it's nothing to be ashamed of....But a 3rd marriage....That's a different story. He better factor all of this in before he makes a decision. He may be playing mr. cool right now, but it will hit him like a brick,if and when you physically leave. Who knows....Maybe he'll change for the better once reality sets in. One would like to think that you need each other.

Only you can decide if this route is the one for you. I really feel for you and am very sorry that you have to go through this....It's very sad and isn't right by any means. However, you seem like a very strong woman and you can do it! Everything happens for a reason and there is a plan for you. Stay strong!

Take care, and please let me know if I can help further.

Best regards,

Ex





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