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Well after careful consideration and the advice from you all, my friends, sleepless nights, tears and prayer I have decided to end the relationship. As much as I could play games to "give him the kick in the butt he needs" I don't feel comfortable having to kick him in the butt in order to love, care, and emotionally be here for me as he should. His cowardness and non-communitave ways I have realized are a pattern and I'm not okay with it. This is not what I want long term and after going over pros and cons I have concluded that him "shutting off" makes the relationship not what I want or need. It was his caring, sweetness, loving nature as to why I have done this for 2 years and why I was willing to move across country to be with him. But since he has cut that off there is nothing left that he has to offer me. This man has ALOT of baggage, the kids, the CRAZY ex wife, and the way he deals with stress and shuts down is not someone that I consider a "partner" in life, at least not for me. He has known this is hurting me, but continues to do so. I may have nagged and fought with him too much recently but thats no personal--shutting me out of his life, not responding when I have been nice and trying to mend things and not being here for me like he promised is not comparable. I have always been here for him the past 2 years and I feel like the past month he has made me feel so unloved and uncared for that I no longer want this. I deserve better. I have even caught onto a pattern and can label this relationship as toxic. I am drained emotionally and spiritually. This was the 2nd go at it and its not healthly for me. So now, the question? Do I still take the job or not? I am scared that if I move for the job since I will be near him I will end up somehow back with him and/or the situation. Its like quitting smoking and knowing that you love to smoke but its bad for you, but its not to smart and its definately hard to try and quit smoking and go to a bar where everyone is smoking---especially at first. I live alone now bu have the option to see friends but often choose not too. If I get a random roomate or live alone for the job I think I may feel really alone, get weak and end up calling him. Afterall he will be the only thing familair. Now, I agree that it stinks to change plans AGAIN and rewind myself months to being here without a job but I just think I need to be done with this for good. I want to cut off his family, kids, and everything in order to regroup and move forward. I don't see a future with him anymore due to all his baggage and although I wanted it to work SO SO bad I don't think it ever will. I need to stay away from him once and for all but how do I do that if I move near him? Ugh. I'm so frustrated and confused. I have never loved or done so much for any boyfriend and realize I'm not getting what I need in return. Because of my big heart and out history I am afraid of taking him back in the future. I know hes not good for me. I know that hes not worth everything I would have to sacrafice to be with him and that ultimate "be with him" isn't appealing anymore. In fact I'm wondering if I need serious therapy to figure out why I was with him in the first place. Hes like a drug and our back and forth mind games is killing me. I told him what I needed and he fails to give me that and honestly he owes me that at least especially when he has told me that I saved his and his kid's lives. I am done. Now what to do about this job? And it is alot of pressure because the company is laying off someone there after 6 years for me to take the job so its not going to be that easy for me to move there, take the job and end up hating the area or getting back and forth involved with him and then up and quitting in 6 months. The company is willing to pay 2 grand just to break my lease and although the pay is great and I could pay off my debt I don't want to let them down.....what would you do? :(:confused:





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