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Relationship Health Message Board


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Okay needing some advice. I have recently had alot of arguments with my boyfriend due to major life changes we both are having to make because of stress from the ex-wife (mother of his kids). She is now in jail and has hit a rock bottom. He is trying to rebuild his life in a new state with his children (the have family support) and has asked me to come with him. I have secured a job there and am planning to move there in 4 weeks. We had gone round and round about everything from where are we going to live, to talking to leasing agents, to applying for jobs, interviews, flying back and forth during this transition, etc. The problem is during all this stress I[COLOR="Magenta"]{removed} [/COLOR]and know I was nagging him. I have since relaxed some and have stopped all nagging, etc. Anyway, since we have been apart (2 weeks) until I move up there December 1st he has completely shut off. We used to talk nightly, now its only once every 2-3 days and when we do talk he seems short. I have asked him that I know we had fought alot recently due to stress but does he still want me to move there? That he still wants to go forward with everything? He says yes, he says he just does not want to be fighting like we have been but hopes it will be different when I get there and that he understands we are both under alot of stress. I have given him several opportunities to tell me he no longer wants to continue with this and he says he does however his actions are so different now. He hardly responds to emails I send and I just don't know whats up? If he was having second thoughts I would hope he would tell me before I actually move up there. He seems so closed off and I know that nagging can cause this and I have done my share. I have tried to talk to him about how I am feeling and I need him to be a little more open and show me his love a little more since I need that security from him right now (this is a huge decision for me) and although he agrees and all, nothing changes. It has now been 3 days since I have heard from him so hes not doing what I need from him. Is it possible we fought so bad that hes just closed off for now? I feel like I pushed him away cause of my nagging,etc and not until he acted distant did I realize what I was doing. I don't want to loose him and have told him this as well and he has responded with "you're not going to loose me". But then why is he acting so distant? Why is he not calling hardly? Why is he not really responding to my emails? I know he is stressed right now trying to get situated and a little depressed but I need to feel love from him. I feel so closed off from him and am starting to have second thoughts about moving because of how hes been acting. Any advice of what to do? I know I want him, I want this, and I am ready to move and he says he wants this too, but I sense hes not being honest with me. Maybe I'm being paranoid cause this is a big change for me too, and I pushed him away, but I hope I didn't push him too far? What do I do? Why is he acting like this? And what can I do for things to go back to the way they were before all the recent drama? :confused:





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